And I wonder if I ever cross your mind....

undignified

2011-04-27T00:08:00.001+08:00

Swollen eyes
No better to let you see them now
My wasted hearts
Will never learn to drive the demon down

When you love the devil
You sell your soul
And it's hard to make him go
Undignified I am tonight

So give me false hope and promise me you'll try to
Redeem yourself for the hundredth time
Lie to me if you must, my dear
Give me a reason to have you here

Giving false hope allows me to still believe
In this powerful love that's consuming me
I'm hooked on a drug that steals your pride
It's hard not to seem so undignified

It terrifies me
To think I'm not the only one
You'd be surprised
How much I cry when you are gone

When your angel's the devil
Your church is a tomb
But I need to be with you
I'm undignified enough for two

So give me false hope and promise me you'll try to
Redeem yourself for the hundredth time
Lie to me if you must, my dear
Give me a reason to have you here

Giving false hope allows me to still believe
In this powerful love that's consuming me
I'm hooked on a drug that steals your pride
It's hard not to seem so undignified

I'm addicted to the pain
And pleasure you give
That's not how I wanna live
Controlled by you

So give me false hope and promise me you'll try to
Redeem yourself for the hundredth time
Lie to me if you must, my dear
Give me a reason to have you here

Giving false hope allows me to still believe
In this powerful love that's consuming me
I'm hooked on a drug that steals your pride
It's hard not to seem so undignified

who is that stranger.

2011-04-25T20:33:00.003+08:00

It is really strange when someone who you have known for long time, you saw him, and just nod your head and acknowledge his presence and then you walk away.

Or may be cause we are the pools and meeting in such awkward attire. Well, you know, trunk, shorts and all...

oh life...

more often than not, someone who you known for years become stranger again
while some stranger whom have known you few minutes become behave like someone who you have met for a lifetime.

strange things that I learnt everyday.

Mirror

2011-04-15T19:10:00.001+08:00

Mirror mirror hanging on the wall
You dont have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all.

Nick may say he guess it but i am not dumb enough and i dont think he is smart enough. Obviously my chat with her surely leak...
Knowing someone like her but there no evidence to proof my thought.

It is a mistake to bitch bout him. The guilt haunt me. Such a fool. May be my harsh words already reached his ears. Whatever it is, if this friendship goes down the drain, i know i am the one to blame.

This feel like another round of abandonment.
First sec sch friends, then Kuntetz and now this. It truly feel like a tragedy. But i must not forget bestie, The Royals and The Boys. I need them. Please dont take them away from me.

Honestly, why ppl in camp must ask whether we are friends or not? How is it concern them? Yes we have not contact each other for quite sometimes but izzit ur problem? I dont even know that now we r not friend. I dont even know anything....

I have ord! So dont let me be in ur conversation.

give me a year of two

2011-04-08T23:46:00.001+08:00

I am never good at moving on. Give me a year or two. Then I will be fine.

You been missed.

2011-04-07T00:23:00.001+08:00

Wish you could text me and chat with me and I hope to know how you are doing.

Really miss you my dear friend.

Anyway, the CO version is definitely better.

Who am I trying to kid? You wont be reading this anyway.....

Post Created Apr 6, 2011 11:38:54

2011-04-06T11:38:00.001+08:00

I put a photo of you on my home screen coz I miss you so much.

Dont call me that please

2011-04-05T08:06:00.002+08:00

I really dont like to be called a slut. it is beyond degrading. Just kill my self-esteem

The Good Break

2011-03-27T11:24:00.001+08:00

After a night of getting high.....it is a good break from work. Five days of no work is good......

Please ignore my previous post, i was a bit depress and part of me was being all sensitive.....

I seriously thought that my preceptor hate me but thank god, the answer is no after a few clarification. Seriously, that make my mood bounce up again. Sister have been very nice to me so far.

All the boss in the world is better than sara.
Love the job. But it is getting more routine. Not fun. Same old shit just different days. Totally sound like SAF.

But I have alot to learn.

Cheers to more learning experience!4

Just tired...

2011-03-23T21:18:00.002+08:00

I really wanna shout out loud and scream to the freaking world.....
I hate it, yes, I am having the swing where I currently hate my job.

I am just tired....like what I said, the first few month on the job...U will cry....
YES, I feel like fucking cry. I have no idea why but I just feel that I am severely tired...
Sometimes I do wonder why I join the Nursing World..

At least I am doing SOLO now, so it is alright. I think...but

SERIOUSLY, I AM FREAKING NEW. PLEASE DONT EXPECT ME TO KNOW MY JOB INSIDE OUT. THERE IS ALOT I HAVE TO LEARN. ALOT I HAVE TO ABSORB.

Allow me to make mistake so that I can better,

OK ENUFF RANTING AND BLABBERING.

This boys gonna grow up being all succesful

2011-03-09T23:30:00.001+08:00

Had dinner with the boys again, zy gonna ord by the end of the week and soon after it is sly. They have a future ahead of them, gg to a local uni and be successful.

For me, I still have to clear like 2 years worth of work and may be go for my adv dip. Long wait and patience is what I need...

I doubt they have time for meet up.... Sch is very intensive.....i am mentally prepared for that like how quincy was bout to get attach. More attention for something important. The results to these equation is that im gonna be alone....i will be yesterday jokes....

I am not trying to talk emo but it is the truth I tell u...
My gift of foresight like the elves of Middle Earth is returning after being dormant from being in the state of idiocy while being in the military. Wow, that is a mouthful.

What i believes usually comes true... Thomas theorem!!!
Oh well I will be buried alone anyway. Might as well start getting use to it.

I want to start studying too.... argh!!!

2011-03-06T19:56:00.002+08:00

Dear GOD,

I really have nobody to turn to. I have turned my back on you while you have been always been there for me. Even in times of troubles, you always be there. Dear God, can u bring me to your light once again?

I have sinned. In many ways...........I wanna be my only self again..

Awesome weekend now back to reality.

2011-02-15T23:37:00.001+08:00

Oh crap my stomach have been too bloated lately. It so big and it make me hard to sit down and eat. Really need to do something abt it....but how. Is it because of the fibre diet or something else. Hmm

I am really trying to get into the healthy lifestyle. My Cardio is more better than before. I wanna try to join lots of marathon. See if that help. I felt really wonderful after the safari zoo run. The zoo run really motivate me to go the treadmill and to the pool. I always felt very strong and motivated after sweating it all out. God that is wonderful.

Swimming can be the only thing i look forward to after whole day of work. It is refreshing and soothing. Lol I am bless that a good friend brings me out and introducing the swimming pool. Thank u

My eyes cant open already. Gonna sleep now

It all ended well!!

2011-02-15T23:21:00.001+08:00

Seriously, I cant believe I survive. Clubbing and then work. I am still fine now!

This is damn awesome!! My mum is kind of cool with it!! Lol. Zhongyang and sly really got wasted! Major coolness. Haha.

i going to kill myself!

2011-02-11T22:47:00.001+08:00

Going to the club and then to work later. I am seriously gg to die!!!

God help me!!

But!!!!!!!
Please let me have some fun today!

Damn everthing! I am going tonight!

2011-02-11T07:08:00.001+08:00

Ok.....after much tossing and turning on my bed and a good night sleep! I have decided!!!!

I am going PLAY tonight. Taking in my own advice, I am still young and I must do all the Crazy things now.

Had a conversation with mummy, she told me to enjoy life! So I take it enjoy life= late night out. I did not tell her bout gg to some homo club. Naughty naughty.

They can go without me but serious i wanna go too...

2011-02-10T21:25:00.002+08:00

They really wanna go play on friday but i cant go.......not that I randomly refuse to go but I got work on saturday. I am still new and I have to maintain a good impression to my sister.

I dont know how understanding they are but now I am not a kid anymore.... Every action got a consequences now. I dont wanna report to work looking like a zombie. What would they think of me?

Totally feeling shitty. I know Zy will be super piss. Really piss. I dont dare to see his face now. Gosh these are the few thing I need to give up as a nurse.

Anyway, saw a friend in the bus today, he was like a few feets away but seriously i was too tired to even acknowledge his presence. I dont know if he saw me or not. I was praying not. Honestly, i was trying to avoid any energy consuming small talk....i know i am such an ass....sorry....

On a lighter note, had awesome pizzas at foundation today.

Oh Yes! My first ever KOI!!!
of course with the royals.....

The queen is gg to be angry with me for posting this!

And also 3rd Day CNY at Quincy place!

He bought us Pizza!

Lastly,
Cant wait for 24 march!! Appt with NDC!!

It's Thursday

2011-02-10T09:13:00.001+08:00

Omg! One more day to friday, Safari Zoo Run on Sat and gg club @ Play later.

Super excited!!!

Hehehe.

3rd Day CNY

2011-02-06T00:12:00.001+08:00

Was at queen place. Love the hospitality. Quincy's dad call me fat and i need to lose the weight. Dont worry, i am not offended at all. I think he was very concern. Lol

I grew weary of all the things that is happening around. Yes i am far more apathetic than ever before.

I wonder why my family have to be concern about other problems while no one even give an electron about our own. Stupid! Thank god my mum changed. For my naive brother, one day u will realise when u r in trouble......nobody will even give a shit. Especially ur cousin. Family by blood is so over rated.

epic fail

2011-02-04T23:16:00.001+08:00

I succumb to laziness and shall fall in to slumber soon. Not going to quince today. Shall go there tml. Tml morning i got a lecture to attend that why there is huge inertia for me to stay home tonight. AnywayNites~

Bored...

2011-02-04T20:37:00.001+08:00

As much as I should appreciate long weekend and break, I kind of hate it.Seriously, if the long weekend is filled with activities, i dont really mind but if it gonna be so stagnant and really nothing much to do......staying at home can be a tragedy at times. I got to say I still have not adapt to living at home. I miss having my own bed and my own space. One of the reason why i dont like being at home. Truth be told, I cant wait for the opportunity to move out of the house. With my house, my own space, living in my own definition. That will be nice right. I can do anything I like and bring all sort of people to my house and have all kinds of party anytime. I dont dream big actually. You know, what will be nice is just a 3 room flat all to myself. Like what i have told many, i want a King size bed with a canopy in the masterbed room. In the other room, i will have turkish mat lay down in the whole room, big pillows on the floor and small furniture like a japanese table where i can put my television and the latest game console. I cant wait to get my own house. Gosh, i have to wait another decade for this.When I am financially stable, may be in 3 to 4 years time, i will eventually move out and i got to find a suitable housemates. I already got a few candidates in mind. Haha. Now i am dreaming too much. Well, no harm planning right. Quincy is asking me to hang out at his place today. I thought he never ask. I am so exciting now. Wonder what to bring over later? Hmm.Been few days now.....miss ya ;)

It is CNY 2011.

2011-02-03T12:22:00.003+08:00

Hello Dear all,

I am back with trying to revive this blog. I know it is dead for quite sometime.

TA-DAH. It is the year of the rabbit! Bouncy Bouncy Bouncy.

JUMPY JUMPY JUMPY!

The last time I blog was May 2009. WOW! I have lots of catching up to do.

Alot of things & shits happen afterward and many life lesson learnt.

OMG! I am feeling lazy already.

Let begins, June @ 2009.

I was posted to Mandai Hill Camp as a Bde medic. Oh my Lord, Bde was fun but Medical Centre
is hell hole I tell you. The Black Mamba was the worse enemy and then become a strongest Ally and then become Enemy all over again!

Shit Cycle Theory! LOL. BIG SHIT ACCUMULATE! YOU CLEAR IT. SHIT CLEARED. BIGGER SHIT FALL ON YOUR LAP! There you go, the Shit Cycle Theory.

Anyway, moving on, that month, I had to say goodbye to Grandpa. Miss him terrible! Terrible!
I cried like mad! Like I am at the brink of losing my goddamn mind. But i survive anyway.
Like they say, time is a great healer.

40 days later, it was my grandma turn to go. Shit Cycle Theory at play again.
Annoying I tell you!

Moving On So on and so forth.....blah blah blah yada yada yada

Next it was the MHMC. Seriously everyday was a constant battle for power and the FAMOUS PET GAME. I got to say I was victorious in all that aspect * Flattering Self*
I can turn all sort of things to my advantages.

But as usual, WITH GREAT POWER COME GREAT RESPONSI...........
Bull Shit Spider man!!!!!! it comes with great hatred! People will plot against you!!!!!!

Oh well, I was kind of a lil bitch! So yeah! Emphasize on the 'lil'.
Please guys/gals down blow thing out of proportion.

BLOW? LOL! Thousand and one things run into my mind already.

Now Now Hasrul, Dont digress.......

anyway, then you know, serving the nation and all and I met someone which make my heart rock......* wedding bells ring at the background*..... POP! Opssy. sorry was lucid dreaming..HAHAHA

So wat are the HIGH KEY THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN MY LIFE SO FAR!!
In pictures ( it say a thousand words)

My 21st Bday Party

Jamie's 21st bday Party

Royal Annual Zoo Trip 2009!

Failure to Launch With Royals

Sun, Sea and Sand Outing With BDE

Annual Royal Meeting 2010

Hari Raya 2010 at my Haus

SYOG!!!!

Langkawi with Zhongyang and Sly 2010

LASTLY, Korean BBQ!

Life have been not bad huh!
hahahaha!

So await for more updates from your trulys

XOXO

just got back

2009-05-10T02:34:00.003+08:00

im tired and sleepy but i got the urge to blog....
well, let me do a quickie and i shall go slumber..

few hours back my family and i were celebrating my uncle 50th bday at east coast!
gosh! time really flies....

during the evening i decided to take a stroll down east coast park nearby to chalet alone.
well, then i walk by a bicycle shop and the next thing i knew already rent one alone

cycling slowly and at my own pace..it feel wonderful
it feels peaceful. yes it really feel peaceful.
i did not tell anyone that rent a bicycle...
suddenly being alone feel better...

i cycle to the end of east coast park where i decide to take a break...and self-photo whore

haha! I cant believe i self-photo whore in public...but well it is me, so it is nothing new...

then the sun set and i end up at some jetty ....
dunno where it is but feel the gush of wind running through my hair is sensual
and with my omnia around it gave me some inspiration to write.

well, i dunno whether u may understand but i will share wat i wrote later//

here some extra pic

me again!

I know it is blurry but i was riding on this baby who keep me accompanied this evening..

at this jetty i wrote two poems...
lol, i am no poet so dont laugh/cuss at me..

Ocean

Im here by the ocean of tears

Gliding through the wind of despair

It strength pierce through every inch of my soul

My spine shiver in fear

Nothing in me is spare

I am feeling cold but it can never be told...

I can feel that my heart is being shear..

My mind is beyond repair

And i am alone and no one to hold..

Am i still this poor dear?

Who Never experience being paired....

Lasting till i am old...

If my soul was seed

If my soul was seed

Let it be on the highest summit.
Let it know no love
Let it know no friends..
For no other tree grow at the mountain top...

Upon the peak it grow alone...
Blooming to no sight
Bearing fruits to no one

For the tree at the peak..
May be it is a blessing..
It will not yearn for another for it have no knowledge about the others.

I wish my soul grew on the mountain end...
And I seek no one and no love for I will have no knowledge of it..

Now I am at the lowest valley. Germinate in obscurity.
Seeking warmth in a stranger life..
Wishing to be at the highest peak....

Hope u like it.....especially depressing poem!

2009-05-09T11:47:00.002+08:00

I THINK MY MIND IS MORE CLEAR TODAY

last night i just have to let everything off my chest...let everything out...let everything bare

i always feel so much better after writing stuff out
i dunno why but may be through a blog i feel that at least i can talk to something

i like the whole world is off my chest/breast! LOL

unlike talking to people, they may have ears but they dont listen..
that is unfortunate....maybe i am that tooo

<>
what the fuck! LOL

ok nvm! I will just rewrite!

as i was saying!

there is this wise bunkmate of mine who told me that instead of accepting and be comfortable with the weakness and the shortcoming that u have, why dont u do something about it and make it better.
his words run through my mind

all my life i have believe that I am fat and i am not as fits as anyone else but i can leave with it as long as i love myself. i always use that as my life philosophy!
but come to think of it, may be i have been using it as an excuse to work hard and be better....
i should change my life perspective..

you know i have been talking to this guy, let call him......S...
he somehow told me that i am somewhat emotional and i cant control myself bitch-fit
lol...may be i am that....well, s is younger than me by a couple of years but he taught me somthing that day...i will not say here but although he is crazy and somehow funny, he taught me more about myself and he change the way i look at things now..

he may know it but i would like to say thank you

another thing is this,
there is this guy who told me that i should run and exercise more as he notice that i am more getting more lethargy by the days. yes...i have not been running lately . but instead of taking it as an advice or like a friend trying to help u out, i took it in offensive way.
i dunno why but to me it sounded like he was sayin that i am fat and should do something about it. i feel it like a slap to my face...

i know feeling that way is totally irrational and baseless
plus i should be more thankful that someone is reminding me to be healthier

i dunno why but am i taking thing negatively or am i more cynical...
hmmmmm,,,,,,

i talk to my mum about all of this and she told me this
" you think to highly of yourself. when someone tell u ur weakness it is somehow a slap to ur big ego"

hmm, may be it true......maybe i hve forgotten to be humble.....
or may be becoz i thing i am a nurse in this course that i feel that i am better it skill or may be it better in everything compare to everyone else.....

gosh, look like i forget some lesson that nursing taught me....to be humble...

humility.....

i should learn that word and understand it true meaning

ok i am gg to say something random

i miss my royal

2009-05-09T01:21:00.002+08:00

i dunno know what wrong wit me. apparently there are many internal turmoil within me.

i know i have irritate a couples of people and even my family members is not spare.

i dunno why i am acting this way.....

i know i am in the wrong
i know whatever i say hurts someone like hell
but i really dunno why i cant bring myself to admit that i am wrong in the first place

i am being like a real bitch...

yes i may sound bitchy but am i taking this bitch story too seriously

or am i really turning to a real bitch

this week in that hostel like place, i really think that i am the worse
asshole ever,,,i know it is not nice to talk about people behind their back but i just could not control my self. i regret back stabbing,,,,

something which come natural to me like gossip bitch backstabbing......i believe i should learn to put a stop to it......
but where do i begin.......

i really piss alot of people, i dunno directly or indirectly...
gosh i should kill myself....

haiz....so disappointted in myself for acting this way,,,,

INSPIRED!

2009-04-26T10:48:00.002+08:00

Lester gave me this link to watch this video about Susan Boyle.

At first people judge her because look,age and appearance but
when she sing, her voice is like an angel!

I am actually inspired and may be we should jude people according to their
inside and not the outside. Quit being Superficial people!

here the link

check it out!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9z0h1NNk1Ik

I watch the video for more than 10 times already!!!

haha

it been for 4 months! it is time to change the Song!

2009-04-10T21:40:00.003+08:00

I have gone through alot! Alot that it change my life better!

It is time to change this song! too long it have been in this blog and now the
new me have to take over! Dun worry! This song Now You're Gone by Sugababes will be
like a stigma on your head!

anyways! Although i din get any complain that I forsaken this blog! it is time to
continue what I have left!

Time for a fresh start!
Lets start from the beginning!

here are some pictures while I am label as Staff Nurse Muhd Hasrul.

I had a great time at ward 75! miss manual evacuation!

Well! in the mean time while working! i have my coffee break with fellow royals! hehe

Then I am off to tekong!!!!

I still cant believe I survive tekong! hahaha!
here some photos of ppl who make tekong fun!

this is me with my buddy! LOL! cant survive without him!

Then we POP! and had a Platoon BBQ!!

hahaha! I had a great time during the BBQ and lots of cash outflow! LOL!

last month Juli, syaz and me!

deciced to go back to the confrontation zone that change our life!
the surge of memory just flow like a broken dam

im sure my dear royals know this place very well.

later on that week! family trip to Changi terminal 3.

haha@ something happen that day! i was in cubicle answering to the call of nature!
then i heard strange noises! later on, I heard a guy moaning " No. NO".me! you can figure out what they were doing in there! lol

next! an Aunt from malaysia return to singapore to visit my grandma who had stroke!

look at her fair skin! beautiful sey!
she told everyday she put natural and purely unrefined honey on her face!
dammit i need to get hold of that honey!

Lastly! yours truly! love to photowhore!
haha!

i love this shirt of mine! dammit i still haven pay jamie for it!

haha!
that is all for now! more heart to heart entry in the future

back from the abyss

2008-11-25T09:38:00.002+08:00

well, it is very clear that this blog have been forsaken. Being untouch for months.

alot have been happening, well how can my life be that stagnant right.

lets start from the beginning,

it have been so damn challenging this year. Emotionally and physically....
with an accident that happen to me involving my right eye, my self-esteem dwindle like a dying flame in the tundra.

then the issue about Khai and how I lost him...
i've lost a friend........

until now it still hurt....it is still very real...
damn!!

I can say I've changed. changed in the way i perceived thing and changed in the way I react to things. After that traumatic experienced I am a different person.

I almost lost my eye and I lost a friend.
at that time to.....i was jobless....that is where i lost my pride...

but soon, when the Will of God, I manage to find a job. Working and earning cash have been
a great distraction and comfort to me. Yes It is tiring but it make learnt and grow.
This is my first real job, dealing with real people where my ass is widely exposed under public scrutiny. When I was a student, I am very much protected like a being in a cacoon with all the senior staff around me.

But now, i have greater responsibility thrust upon me and people lives is at my hand. but I somehow with the help of my preceptor, I survived.

survive greatly and I can say that I am Victorious.

With all this crap, shits and all the hell hole that I have gone through, I Still remain standing high and tall and dun forget my tones ass since I've been gg to the gym lately. LOL

ANd NOW NS is coming. Another chapter of my life awaits!
Time to go where all the boys go to be a man!

damaged

2008-09-21T21:05:00.002+08:00

all i can say i've been working! i am grateful that I am working. I am grateful that in the time of great uncertainty that befall on me, I am still sane.

work have given me a great source of distraction. With the fact that Quincy is gone in ns, i have one less person to talk to. I wonder how he is doing?

Honestly I am mentally nt feeling ok. I dun think I am ready to open up my feeling to anyone anytime soon. i honestly feel so surpress when quincy is gone......pls call me alright.

I am breaking my silence!

I feel so damaged! Thanks to you i dun trust others now. I dun try myself now. I really cant believe in myself now. I feel so stupid! I feel so cheated! I feel rotten now!! u dont know how many night i cant sleep well. I have never felt so much hatred toward someone! Not once i am so angry that very core of me reap in flame upon hearing ur name.

I am not ready to forgive! but I will tell you this! I WILL NEVER FORGET!!!!!!

AGAIN! U LEFT ME DAMAGED!!!!

Sugababes - Now You're Gone

Don't recognise what I see
Who is this looking back at me?
I just can't tell
I see a pale reflection of myself
Can't cover up the way I feel
These nights will never never heal
What can I do?
Am I supposed to just forget you?

I'm torn up got my fingers burning
Now I'm, so lost got a lot to learn
I wanna free myself as someone else
But there's no where left to turn

Tell me who are you gonna run to?
Where are you gonna hide?
There's so much you gotta undo
If there's nothing left inside
Tell me who's gonna make it better?
When there's so much going wrong
Will I feel this way forever?
Or am I stronger now you’re gone?

Wish I could change who I am
Be someone who don't give a damn
It's too much to take
Cause my heart is set to break down
I can't pretend anymore
That things will be like they were before
Why can't you see?
It's just a faded memory

I'm torn up got my fingers burning
Now I'm, so lost got a lot to learn
I wanna free myself as someone else
But there's no where left to turn

Tell me who are you gonna run to?
Where are you gonna hide?
There's so much you gotta undo
If there's nothing left inside
Tell me who's gonna make it better?
When there's so much going wrong
Will I feel this way forever?
Or am I stronger now you’re gone?

What can I do?
To make it through
It's only me
Why can't I see?
I'm not too well
It's such a shame
It's only me

Who are you gonna run to?
Where are you gonna hide?
There's so much you gotta undo
If there's nothing left inside
Tell me who's gonna make it better?
When there's so much going wrong
Will I feel this way forever?
Or am I stronger now you're gone?

Why can't I feel, yeah

There's so much you gotta undo
If there's nothing left inside
Tell me who's gonna make it better?
When there's so much going wrong
Will I feel this way forever?
Or am I stronger now you're gone?

he is in NS already!

2008-09-15T20:32:00.004+08:00

gosh!

I miss that idiotz already...

i hope u are doing ok!

dont bitch around so much

In the end you went NS before me!

I miss u bitch!

Take a Bow

2008-09-12T23:18:00.000+08:00

Ohhh, oooo...

The flowers are all faded now
Along with your letters
They will never see the light of day
Cause I'll never take them out
There's no turning back
It's for the better
Baby I deserve more than empty words
And promises
I believed everything you said
And I give you the best I had
Oh.

[Chorus:]
So take a bow
Cause you've taken everything else
You played the part
Like a star you played it so well
Take a bow
Cause this scene is coming to an end
I gave you love
All you give me was pretend
So now take a bow...

[Verse 2:]
The future's is sbout to change
Before you know it
The curtain closes
Take a look around
There's no one in the crowd
I'm throwing away the pain
And you should know that your performance
Made me strong enough

[Chorus:]
So take a bow
Cause you've taken everything else
You played the part
Like a star you played it so well
Take a bow
Cause this scene is coming to an end
I gave you love.
All you give me was pretend
So now take a bow...

[Hook:]
Well it must have been slight of hand
Cause I still can't understand
How I could never see
Just what a fool believed
Um

But the lies they start to show
Tell me how does it feels to know
Right now that I wont be around
So baby before where ever you are

[Chorus:]
Take a bow
Cause you've takin everything else (you've takin everything else)
You played the part like a star you played it so well (so well)
Take a bow
Cause this scene it's coming to an end (End)
I gave you love.
All you give me was pretend
So now take a bow

Take a bow
Cause you've taken everything else
You played the part (I gave you all my love) like I star you played it so well (I gave you all my love)
Take a bow
Cause this scene it's coming to an end
I gave you love. (Ohhhh)
All you give me was pretend
So now take a bow

Horny???

2008-08-03T20:40:00.002+08:00

LOL!!!!!!!

I sound like a pervert putting up this song! But it is a still a great music.
And I am not hinting this to anyone! So u are safe! LOL. You know who u are!
OPPSS! I just contradicted myself!

So I had lunch with Queenie today and dinner the day before today!
we have much to talk about! LOL!

especially about how orgasmic pee-ing can be! LOL!! a secret technique! haha!
and queenie call me a self-fertilising organism!! funny topic!!!! HAHA!

anyway! enjoy the song!

Mousse T. - Horny '98

You got me horny in the morning and you kno-o-ow
I try to call you but I can't find the telephone
I sent a message through the Internet but it rejected
I wrote a letter and I sent it with the po-o-ost

The post it takes so long, so I've got to sing this song
To let you know how I feel, whats the deal baby
And I can't wait for you, and the things you make me do
My heart is ringing so I'm singing this song for you

I'm horny
Horny, horny, horny
So horny
I'm horny, horny, horny
I'm horny
Horny, horny, horny
So horny
I'm horny, horny, horny tonight

I searched from town to town but I can't find my bird ooh ooh
I got so desperate I sent a rocket to the moon
In New York City someone said they saw you singing the blues
But it was a man from Nowhere Land ... who looked like you
I will keep searching on
This feeling's much too strong
My heart is ringing and I'm singing this song for you

I'm horny
Horny, horny, horny
So horny
I'm horny, horny, horny
I'm horny
Horny, horny, horny
So horny
I'm horny, horny, horny tonight
I'm horny, horny, horny tonight

The post it takes so long, so I gotta sing this song
To let you know how I feel, whats the deal baby
And I can't wait for you, and the things you make me too
My heart is ringing so I'm singing this song for you

I'm horny
Horny, horny, horny
So horny
I'm horny, horny, horny
I'm horny
Horny, horny, horny
So horny
I'm horny, horny, horny tonight

Horny, horny
Horny, horny, horny
Horny, horny
Horny, horny, horny
Horny, horny
Horny, horny, horny
Horny, horny
Horny, horny, horny
Horny, horny
Horny, horny, horn

Better In Time

2008-07-31T23:44:00.001+08:00

t's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Go in, come in, thought I heard a knock
Who's there? No one, thinking that I deserved it
Now I realize that I really didn't know
You didn't notice, you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is, I'ma be okay

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too, oh yeah
(It'll all get better in time)
Even though I really loved you
I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to
(It'll all get better in time)

How could I turn on the TV
Without something there to remind me?
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings?

If I'm dreaming, don't wanna let, hurt my feelings
But that's the path, I believe in
And I know that, time will heal it
You didn't notice, you mean everything
Quickly I'm learning to love again
All I know is, I'ma be okay

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too, oh yeah
(It'll all get better in time)
Even though I really loved you
I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to
(It'll all get better in time)

Since there's no more you and me
It's time I let you go so I can be free
And live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is, I'll be fine without you
Yes, I will

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too, oh
(It'll all get better in time)
Even though I really loved you
I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to, yes, I do
(It'll all get better in time)

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too, yeah
(It'll all get better in time)
And even though I really loved you
I'm gonna smile 'cause I deserve to

Warwick Avenue

2008-07-31T23:39:00.000+08:00

When I get to Warwick Avenue
Meet me by the entrance of the tube
We can talk things over little time
But promise me you wont stand by the light

When I get to Warwick Avenue
Please draw the past and be true
Don’t say we’re okay
Just because I’m here
You hurt me bad but I wont shed a tear

I’m leaving you for the last time baby
You think you’re loving,
But you don’t love me
And I’ve been confused
Outta my mind lately
You think you’re loving,
But I want to be free, baby
You’ve hurt me.

When I get to Warwick Avenue
We’ll spend an hour but no more than two
Our only chance to speak once more
I showed you answers, now here’s the door

When I get to Warwick Avenue
I’ll tell baby there we’re through

Cause I’m leaving you for the last time baby
You think you’re loving,
But you don’t love me
And I’ve been confused
An outta my mind lately
You think you’re loving,
But you don’t love me
I want to be free, baby
You’ve hurt me.

All the days spent together
I wish for better,
And I didn’t want the train to come
Now it’s departed, I’m broken hearted
Seems like we never started
All those days spent together
When I wished for better
And I didn’t want the train to come.
No, no.

You think you’re loving
But you don’t love me
I want to be free, baby
You’ve hurt me
You don’t love me
I want to be free
Baby you’ve hurt me

Don't Dream It's Over

2008-07-28T07:13:00.001+08:00

There is freedom within
There is freedom without
Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
There's a battle ahead
Many battles are lost
But you'll never reach the end of the road
While you're traveling with me

CHORUS:
Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win

Now I'm towing my car
There's a hole in the roof
My possessions are causing me suspicion but there's no proof
In the paper today
Tales of war and of waste
But you turn right over to the TV page

CHORUS

Now I'm walking again
To the beat of a drum
And I'm counting the steps to the door of your heart
Only shadows ahead
Barely clearing the roof
Get to know the feeling of liberation and relief

CHORUS

REPEAT UNTIL FADE:
Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in

Terra

2008-07-11T21:07:00.002+08:00

It've been 7 years since I heard this piece of music.

You are probably listening to it right now.

This music is called Terra theme. It is compose by Nobuo Uematsu.

I first heard this while playing this game Final Fantasy IX and until now

I am captivated by it. In Final Fantasy IX, terra is another dimensional where people

of the past civilisation still lingered. Their soul is kept in these vessel call genome.

I was secondary 1 when I completed the game. After that, I love replaying the game so that i can reach the stage where this music is played. The game have 4 disc and this music is only played on disc number 4th. LOL.

After that I learnt the art of downloading and download this song. I burnt it to a CD and listen to it through my disc man. Yes! a disc man! that was in our era. I still kept the music somehow until now. If I ever lose it, it would always be ready to be download.

This music have always give me a sense of calm and a great imagination.

The harp that is use is so soothing that many time I listen to it repeatedly before I go to sleep.

I still do that.

When I first listened to this, I always imagine I am in this blue world. Much like a heaven and the cloud is like a cushion for me to rest. like a blue cotton candy. And in this world, I will fly freely to my heart content. Then there is little pixies and fairies flying around me and embracing me in a warm welcome. a place where pain and loneliness never exist. What I feel when I listen to this is simply undescribable.
LOL! my imagination gone wild huh! haha.

Terra have able me to keep in touch with my thoughts and imagination when I was 13.
I may be an adult now but I am happy that I have still have that kid in me. At least I can still fantasize and imagine living in a palace on cloud and a place when my soul roam freely. haha.

That is my Terra! My beautiful Terra!

I hope you find your own Terra!

Life reclaimed! I miss my royals.

2008-07-02T11:40:00.002+08:00

I am taking back my life. Pieces by pieces. Now the portrait is almost finish.
I have learnt to adapt with this new life of mine! I shall say it is like a rebirth.
I am looking at things in a new way! No longer feeling frustrated. No longer feel lost.

I have a new direction now. I am going to return to being a nurse soon! I shall work for SGH.
It took me alot of courage to call up SGH HR and tell them about my condition. I was lost!
I dont know whether I am capable of working. My life was on a halt. like it is hanging of the edge of a sword. HR say I could return to work. It took them 3 days to get back to me. In those 3 days, I told myself, pls dun call me. May be I am not ready to work. gosh, I never felt so much uncertainty.

HAHA. They call up in the end! I went for my medical check-up! and I am fit to work!
LOL. August 11 is the day! Now i cant wait to get back to work! 5 months of holidays and recuperating is enough. Life is back on track.

I miss my royal.

Gosh! I miss all of you to bits and pieces. I know we are moving through some rough transition in our life. Some tougher than the others. Some of us are soul searching and trying to figure out what we really wanna do with our life now that so many changes happening so fast. Look like life after poly is harder than it seem. Oh God, I miss all of you! Cant stopping thinking about you guys and I hope think will return as the way they were before.

I was reading 3 envelopes of warm fuzzy that we got from our ateam annual camp. One envelope for each year. I miss all the time fun times we had. Those warm fuzzy still make my heart felt so much love. May be you should find that warm fuzzy and read it again. and I am going to restore the happiness that I once had. Appreciate the little things that life gave me.

Dear royals, take care alright! We should live life happily like what we used to be. That is something worth fighting for. Lots of hugs and love!

The one-eyed bitch

2008-06-23T00:35:00.003+08:00

lol! funny nick name that have been bestowed to me by my brothers. LOL
They can always make a joke out of the most depressing thing.

I am getting better! the steroid make my sight work better!

I wanted to have this policy of writing only happiness in my blog! but well, I think I just cant take it! I just want to vent thing out!

Honestly! I feel like being alone! Just being alone where nobody can contact me!
I have been binge eating! That is what I normally do when I am moderately stress!
So i have gain weight tremendously! I gt a pot belly ! Bigger than my man boobs! rounder and curvier! LOL

yeah! I am rambling! saying random stuff that is not coherent and super ultra random!
Why am I doing this? Again, there is so many thought that is going through my mind that i need it to be sorted out! I think i just repeated myself! Now I feel like that idiotic monkey MOJO JOJO.

With what I am going through now, I look normal! But I cant look at people normally!
I mean I feel lonely with that condition! I feel so lost and dead.
Nobody understand me! Like who the hell would understand me!! I cant see clearly now!
I have to guess what the hell is written on that bloody board!
When I want to go to the cinema! I feel like that is a waste of money since I cant see it clearly!
I like to see beautiful things but now. WOW! but it doesnt seem to be worth it now!
I even got frustrated when I was watching the damn TV!

I am 20! I have a career infront of me and a gazillion things that I wanna do! But now, i feel my life is so blight! Like of all things this happen to me. Me??? What the hell did I do to anyone to deserve this. Ok fine, i bitch and gossip alot! so???

ARRGRGGRHRHHRHRHRHRHHRHRHHRHRHRHRHRHHRHRHRHRH!! Roar!

Now I feel like I am living out the life of a one-eyed bitch!
Repressed, angry, frustrated and regressing!!

..........................................................................................................................................

Ok now! now i feel so much better! YEAH! I know alot of people care for me!
But now! I just want to recuperate! both the inside and outside! so now I am so going to sleep! And not a single vulgarities use! I am impressed with myself! LOL!! TML will be a super great day!

*this is post is not about you! Or you or you who still insist it is about you! Nor it is about me being suicidal! It is about me who is having haemorroid right now and diarrhea( perfect combination!!) and in pain which make me bitchy! ok! tatas~~

The Eye injury follow by postponement of my National Service Enlistment.

2008-06-09T00:00:00.003+08:00

Apparently, what happen to me in the last week till now, it is the time where I can never forget.
I almost become blind. Yes. Almost become blind.

I spent days and nights in a great distress. I was in verge of killing of myself. Yes. I really thought of that. Not that I was alone nor feeling emotional because I couldnt find a mates or whatsoever.

I had an injury to my right eye. My spectacles broke and 6 shard of glass gt impacted into my eyeball. Worse of all, it could not be wash away. My eye was so swollen that I could not even open it. When I attempted to open that eyelid of mine, it will naturally close in like 5 second. It was even beyond the nerve control. If people ask me how bloodshot was my eye? It is was as bloodshot as you can imagine.

While I was in the accident and emergency, the waiting is just so agonizing. I was suppose to wait for another 10 patient before they could attend to me. Well, lets just say the hospital works too slow. The pain that I was having is beyong words. Tears just kept flowing out of my right eye like a never-ending stream. Well, it last for hours and hours. I just had to tell the nurse how bad i was suffering for them to hasten up and fast forward the waiting time. Well, the House officer couldnt do anything much! so I was refer to the eye specialist. There I waited for another 2 more hours just to be attended.

In the emergency department, the doctors took out 5 out of the 6 shard out of eye.
Initially they thought, they was only 3 shard. Then a senior doctor came and found 3 more.
Well, I thank him for finding the 3 other shards. but honestly he is an ASSHOLE!!!!!
his attitude stink!! Well, I hope when he gt sick or something, may the force of all the healthcare industry treat him like shits. ok! finally I let out of my chest!

He told me that I may be become blind. to be specific mostly to become bling.
He say the laceration was so bad that it right smack in the middle of my cornea.
Well, thanks to him! I was in suicidal mode. They left one glass in my eyes coz they could not remove it. The glass burrow quite deeply. so it can be remove immediately.

I went back home crying! My eye was green due to all the chemical the doc use. Yes, it was damn green! I called Khai! I feel so much better after talking to him. Then there was Juli, Mandy and Grace. Love them both. Anyway, Fearing that I become blind. to tell u the truth, I was in stage of denial like why this happen to me? I woke up the next day for my next appointment.
This time around the doc is way better. There again, they would not remove the last piece of shard as they want other wound to heal first.

So in total, I spent 3 days with a glass in my eye! Imagine that.
I had strong support from my mum and dad. Love them both. My mum cried all night long.
I felt sorry for putting her in that state. When I was in the emergency department, I tried a couple of time to cheer her up. But a mother instinctive sense of care and worry never shook off.

I am nurse and I always say health is all about the mind to everyone and my patients.
This time around I was put to the test. I had positive thought all the way. I do not denied the fact there was a moment I felt so down. Waking up and the feeling I am gg to be blind lingered in the morning sky. But, I thank god for my strong will and support from my mum and dad and the royals. They are reason that I felt so strong.

As you know, I hate doctor like most of the time. I refuse to believe what he say.
I allowed myself to feel depress and then shake it off. After that, I say in my heart and in my soul " Thank you for my healing". I say it like a mantra everyday! With the pain so agonizing, I believe in those words so much. I look into the mirror with my bloody eyes and say " Thank you for my healing" or "I have heal".

On wednesday, they remove the last piece of glass. That remove the pain totally! Can u imagine it hurt everytime you blink!! but i kept believing that I am healing! That I am getting better!
Then the doctor say that the laceration was so close to the middle of my cornea. So close!! and I am quite lucky for that! haha

Now I am believer in the power of the mind and faith!

The very next day was my enlistment date. LOL! When all the way to tekong just to be rejected.
haha. Well, after what happen to me....i wasnt ready for tekong. The Medical officer there look at my eye and I can see from his expression that it looks bad!
HE said : Wah! Not fit for enlistment! you cant even shoot ah! the only thing is that u can run,
but if u fell down, u might hurt ur precious left eye.
LOL.

then now I am here. rejected from tekong until my eye heal to the fullest.

I am healing and I am getting better! LOL

Health is all about what it in the mind. Now I believe what I preached.

Random Post!

2008-05-26T20:09:00.003+08:00

hey all!!

Just blogging since I got all the time in the world for now!

hehex!

I am a great fan of anime. So I watching anime at crunchyroll.com and something caught my eyes!

There is this thailand show. Well, I don't know how it get there. Hoping it was some kick ass horror show or something. So I just clicked on it.
LOL. The subtitle on crunchyroll was just so horrible that I got piss off upon watching it.
So I decided to torrent it instead!

but it turn out to something like brokeback mountain! LOL! nobody died lah! ok!

The LoVe oF SIaM !

haha! it involved this two teen guys , Mew and Tong, who found comfort with each other. They were childhood friend until a family tragedy pull them apart. After many years pass by, they meet up coincidentally! Soon, friendship reunited and feeling developed even more!
there is no gay sex! So it is PG show! I mean I find it ok to see two guys smooching but that it as far as it goes! Well, Tong's Mum soon intervene in their affair. Mew decided to be in isolation and that pushes Tong to be clear of his feeling and somehow confess! but.....

well, the actor and actress are hots!! Whhoo! I have no idea why I like the show but somehow I dont need alot of reason. Well, if you see it as a taboo homo relationship, you may find it repulsive. but I look at it as a affection between two people! be it boy-girl, boy-boy, girl-girl, regardless when two people are in love, there is a something valuable to be understand!

NExt! My latest squeeze! The World ENDs with You

I have not touch my DS lite for months as there is no good games that season until this came along!

AHH! and interesting battle style! it involved trend, pop music and fashion into the gameplay!
I love the fashion part! Different brands of clothes can power up your fighting style. SEXY!
it so suit my Diva-ness. LOL I play in such an intense way that many feared I will break my DS in the end! Well, I broke my O2 LCD. So I am not planning to break anything else! haha

HEhex!

Vanessa William Aka Wanda "Wilhelmina" Vivian Slater from Ugly Betty!

since watching ugly betty! I always find her such a bitch in the show!
haha!

but well people, dont forget she got a beautiful voice! Gosh she is so hot back then!

I am in love with her Voice!

haha! till next time

Graduation. 22 May 2008

2008-05-23T09:57:00.003+08:00

Yours truly Have FinallY Graduated!!

yesterday was a moment of great happiness to me!
Both my parent came for the occassion! hehe. Love TheM so mUch!
Well, picture is enuff to say everthing!

Beautiful day at the beach

2008-05-16T19:02:00.002+08:00

I feel so much at peace now. So tranquil, so enlightened so relax. So in love with my life. haha! I feel so beautiful! LOL.

I mean I finally got the chance to go out today. SJAB NVSS was having post-exam rest and recreational day! I am so glad I manage to join them. It was fun lah!
I feel so much at ease. We have the beach for ourselves.

We were playing by the waters and shouting to the top of our lungs at the sea, releasing every single bit of tension in our heart. I felt so liberated from all the baggage in me.

The water is so clear! We were seating by the beach crapping! Getting wet as if were pee-ing on our pants. LOL. Super ULTRA MEGA WONDERFUL DAY!

It nice to unwind again...

But we took a moment to grief. Coz the beach make us reminiscence of late-Diyana.
The gals took some time to recover! They are strong! Unbelievably strong!
and we had a great day

The funny things is that...
we went to starbuck, yes, my favourite place, to get my frap caramel. LOL
This guy barista was the casher and he was like extra happy and enthu.
after I got my frap and go to the counter to take my straw and I told my maam that that guy is like damn gay lah! I dunno lah! He remind of Quincy somehow! Opps, sorry babe. LOL, to my surprise my junior behind me was like saying he was looking at me! WHAT!! ok he is kind of cute but I am not into this kind of thing!! haha. Damn funny and weird lah! I take it as a compliment though. WHAHAHA

Worse part was my maam told Mr Long(Teacher-in-charge) about it!
I knew it he was going to take this opportunity to make fun of me! haha. SEXY!

19 more days for my intensive SPA! hehex

Grateful

2008-05-10T08:57:00.002+08:00

Woke up this morning and I feel grateful with what I have in my life

I am happy and grateful that I have a family who love me to bits! I am happy in the moment of grandfather ailment; I was given the opportunity to take care of him. I got to know him much better than anyone ever had. My mom become an stronger women than ever before. Although my grandfather is not what he used to be, I still love him very much!

I am grateful that i am living in a 3 room flat with five others but I have become more luxurious than ever. Spiritually and also the Bank Account. My family bond strength to the way no one will ever imagine. I learnt to feel abundance in an out of me like never before.

I have a mom and dad who is patient with all my nonsense but fret not, I am a good son!I will love them and cherish them for the rest of my life. LOVE THEM BOTH.
My life have no meaning without them.

My brothers, Hanan, Hasif and Hazim Shawal is the most precious thing that I have. They spice up my life and well they are my back up system. Love you people.

To my bestest bestfriend, Quincy, cant live if living is without you. If there anything in the world that happen to me, you will be the first one to know. You’re my psychologist 24/7 and the my bitch~! You’re my survival kit. My moral pillar and my motivator to achieve more and get what I deserve. Haha. Known you for like 7 years and still we have so many thing to talk about especially you bitching. Yeah yeah, I love you too! SEXY! Haha!

The royals, Benjamin, Felicia , Grace, Jamie, Juliana, Khairul , Mandy and syazwan(alphabetical order), you guys are the best thing that happen to me. The dream team/cliques/kakis/ bestfriends that I ever ever want. It is the greatest blessing in my life and I am honour to have you as my friends which I can boast to other that they are the best friend I ever have. I love you GUYS!

Back! Malaysia, SJAB, enlistment, flu and funeral cum festival downstairs.

2008-04-20T23:08:00.006+08:00

Yours Truly is Back,

Yes yes, I disappear again. I know I know, I promise to blog religiously but you know what, I lied. YEah I lied! You wanna piece of me?

Anyway, moving! Last week I went on trip to Malaysia. Boy! it was fun! yada yada blah blah blah. Well I was quite estatic about the trip BUT during the trip, it wasn't that euphoric! but it is still fun thought. Again, I am posing for the camera! hahaha

That is a picture of me at Port Dickson. Well, except for the beautiful houses on the sea which I find very romantic for couples to enjoy hours and hours of ........( you fill in the blank), Port dickson is kind of a boring place!

Here is my mum and dad. I don't want to mention who is that idiot behind my parent. But in case you ask, that is my brother. That kid always make me regress to the spoilt brat that I am.

So after some sight seeing, we just have to get out of here! Moving on to Kuala Lumpur.

Once we reach Kuala Lumpur!!

Apparently there is nothing worth to pose at KL. The place is so over-crowded, dirty and it can pose some health hazard to me. It is already bad that I am fat but with the condition like that in KL, I might just kick the bucket sooner than expected. The Hotel was just way too horrible! There is a freaking caterpillar on the salad. Well, my family and I just have to quickly evacuate from Malaysia the very next day. but before that, we went to the nearest convienent store and have some chocolate party. OH GOD! I keep indulging with all the chocolate cookies and the chocholate chip. It is not that we cant buy those stuff in singapore but hey, it is WAY cheaper there. So what wrong with having some Gluttony in your life? Plus I am on a vacation so all diet have to break lose. haha

Worse part! The Hotel Bathtub have no stopper! there goes my long super sensual sleep at the bathtub!

Next stop Malacca.

Oh god, malacca is a much more relaxing place! You can really just enjoy yourself and have a moment of tranquility.

The hotel in Malacca was way better than KL. hehe, I had a long bath! LOL. A hotel, a bed and two belts. BONDAGE!!! LOL! ok ok! I'll stop being dirty.

It is a two beded room so I share it with my grandpa and the next room is shared by my brothers,

See those toy guns! BEWARE: It hurts Like hell! Worse than the Queen frozen pinches.

Yes yes! We regressed and start playing war games in the hotel rooms! but Boy it was so damn fun! I had couples of injuries and bruises from those means toys but well, I will sure love to show it off just like a battle scar. I should paint ball next! Anyone organizing it?

( I just had to pose)
we had lunch here! food is not bad! but we just messed up the table. hoo hoo. it looks empty for now but by dusk this place is swarming with hungry people. My family can drive all the way here just for dinner and return to Singapore! Madness, I know.

Then we went to the well of Hang Tuah. Hang tuah is a legendary malay warrior!

That is me! trying to scoope up so water with a low-tech human invention which i do not know how to do. Dumbass I am! haha

Here is my grandpa! the water from the well is said to have some healing properties. Well, lets us just give it a go and see what happen.

The well looks kind of deep, it was said that even with the worse drought, the well never run out of water! haha!

That all folk! I didnt take a lot of picture anyway.

SJAB NVSS

Well, it is that time of the year where secondary school speech day can be such a bitch! Well, finally SJAB NVSS corp have a full contigent! I am so proud of it! Well, training the sec 1 is very hard coz it is like retraining all over. Tiring but fruitful! Well, I am not everyone favourites guy around there. I have to be fussy, petty and annoying! Training their abilities to the limit. LOL

But then! when the times comes! they all bloom so well. I am going to take that SJAB Officer course after my BMT. talking about that.....

National Service Enlistment

I have been summon to serve this Great City of SINGAPORE by the 5th of June 2008. Well, it have surely destroyed my weekend. But I shall fret no longer. I shall go through it like all the other men before me.

Flu

I had flu the very next day after receiving my NS enlistment letter. NO. The matter doesnt shock me until it cause me to be in this state. I am a freaking REGISTERED NURSE for crying out loud and I play with the dead at times. I was taking care of my grandfather who had flu too and I coincidentally wasnt feeling well on the day i got my enlistment letter. But my health worsen the very next day. Although i hate seeing the doctors(I actually have to work with them) I was force to see one. Yeah yeah, they are the ones with the M.B.B.S. Whatever.

Sorry Khai and Kuntetz for blowing you guys off!

Funeral cum Festival

the only reason on why i am blogging such a long entry is that there is funeral downstair. With all the ritual, ah-ha, it a perfect condition for me to blog cz i cant sleep with all these prayers around me. furthermore, I have never seen a funeral that big! it is so big that it involve 2 HDB blocks. And that is not all, in between that two HDB blocks, there is a freaking playground! and they actually set up a " DJ audio control like station " at the playground. Gosh! It is more like a party rather than an solemn funeral. HAHA. and the crowd is just alot sia!

haha. k den! until my next post! tatas~~

EMO Period

2008-03-20T14:48:00.001+08:00

I am feeling so emo.........................
after watch leap years and hearing this song...

........................LOL

March activities!!

2008-03-19T09:55:00.002+08:00

hello!!

march have been a month full of activities and a month full of $$$ fly away from my bank! LOL! but is it worth it! first!!

Royal Outing to marina Square! LOL
well, i dont have alot of picture! must ask the Voodoo curser to sent me all the pictures. Ah Mah!! since those pictures to me!!

anyway, the start of march, Mummy brought a US$300 bill home. So as I was such a retard and a sua ku.....i was playing with the $300 bill.

Omg!! I am regressing to a kid!!

So after that! an outing With The KUNTETZ!!

Well, i cant believe we walk from bugis to suntec city and then clarke quay and then finally boat quay. wah! well my legg hurts like hell!

OH well! it is still fun!!

NExt ZOO Outing!! LOL

haha! that day was just plain fun and enjoyment!!
thought it was risky that it might rain that day, we all took our chances and the weather turn out to be so beautiful!

And finally I had the chance to wear my shades! LOL

then! that Sunday was my eldest bro birthday!! OMG! he is 25. So Old! So we had Lunch at grand hyatt!
the food was just superb!! But still all of those food are traditional food. What new?? hmm! next Lunch must be at royal plaza!

2nd bro, Mum and dad

LOL.....and now my latest obsession!!

HAIIIIIIII!!! I am totally in love with my life!!

May your soul rest in peace...

2008-03-01T16:33:00.002+08:00

After almost like a year, I return to my secondary yesterday to help out for home nursing competition that is coming up really soon. Well, I was expecting everyone to be there. but I guess I was wrong...

my teacher in-charge have to pick me up from the school gate since there is a new policy about making appointment first..

so when he and I reach infront of the cca room... he ask me whether I know what happen to this girl. I answered no but somehow instantenously my gut feeling say she pass away. Momentarily....my teacher told me she pass away last december when school was about to reopen. I was damn shocked, dumbfounded and speechless...
She died of a massive brain haemorhage...i was really caught off-guard upon hearing that...

There is nothing throughout my education ever taught about a young girl had a stroke. Soon after I realise it was intracranial anuerysm. That is only the possible cause....and it turn out to be true...

I am feeling so much guilt now...really sad...as a trainer I scolded them and being very harsh at times but then...i really never had a chance to say sorry. That is what I regret the most, not having the chance to say sorry...if I ever do anything wrong.

Honestly, for me, this is the first time not a stranger but someone who is a friend...move on....

Well, I may be the last to know about that incident...but surely, the effect is still strong..

may you rest in peace alright..

I will get this!!

2008-02-25T11:53:00.001+08:00

I don't know how and I don't know when....but

I will get my Wii!!

be it sooner or later!!

I can imagine playing it already!!

The Secret

2008-02-19T19:46:00.004+08:00

I spent the noon at home today watch " The Secret." Well, it is like a self help movie
but it teaches you about how the world function. Remember about what they " everything is from the mind" and something like "self-fulling prophecy.".

I still remember what my sociology lecture always " Thomas theorem state if men define situations as real, they are real in their consequences ". For example if you believe you will fail this test, you will work less, concentrate less and thus you would fail in the end."

The Secret taught me about the " Law of Attraction". This is the rule that guide the universe.
Your mind is a powerful tool that every negative perception you have, you will attract it to you.
If you have a positive thought, you will attract it. Well, I will let the experts explain....

The show is like an hours plus, but the clip that I put here is only the first 20 minutes.
I was a skeptic when I first watch this. Truthly, this is my 3rd time and onlynow I realise what is "the secret".

Then, I made a reflection about my life. My life is like so much happier long ago.
The time before I had my own money or see my first thousand dollars in my bank account, I was much happier. Not that I am ungrateful that my life is better now, financially more stable and money is no more really an issue. My brothers are working and not really financially dependent on my mum( meaning more $$ for me). LOL.

But then again I am not happy like last time. Then I realise I am not attracting the happiness that I want my life to have. Since I am a bonded, like a month or two after it, I become more materialistic. Starting from getting myself a DS. I went shopping like nobody's business, spent about 2k during the new year. I put so much value in materials that if I get what I want I will be happy. Now look at me, much more angrier and bitcher. I just told that to Jamie and Juli that yesterday.

Before all this, my family have always been in financial difficulty. I never get what I want, I spent on clothes once in 2 years. But then again, I learnt to enjoy the simple things in life.
I read through the archive in my blog, (yes my blog is like 3 yrs ++) and found how I always enjoy the simple life. Never actually have worry so much about the future and fill myself with uncertainty and self-doubt. In this past simple things made me happy and take things slowly.

I woke up in the morning, starting with my favourite classical music and burnt my aromatherapy scent to fill my house with this beautiful fragrance. After that I take a shower, and really enjoy a relaxing day at home. Gosh, what a fun time. Very therapeutic and I had not have those like months until yesterday. haha...and my home feel like heaven again.

NOW I SHALL VISUALISE THE POSITIVE THOUGHT AND TIMES I ONCE HAD AND ATTRACT IT TO ME!

Hope this will help you too!

Valentine's Day at CMPB.

2008-02-14T22:24:00.003+08:00

well, I chose to go through the Medical Check up on Valentine's day hoping that the queue would be shorter. ( For five bloody minutes, I was try to figure out how to spell "Queue". I am becoming more stupid. It is time to play more brain age.) Anyway, I was wrong, the queue is still bloody long. Plus I have to wait for like 1 1/2 hours just to start on my Medical check up.
I waited at 11.30 and they only began at 1 pm. Haiz....apparently it was lunch time. no comment....-_-"

Anyway, I am in pes D coz i just have to declare the pain that I have at my back. LOL
I had fall few years ago and dont actually have any proper treatment. So all this while, during my attachment and at home, I've been suffering in silence but nobody seem to care, really.

anyway, enuff about my depressing life. I change phone twice in between a week.
From a sony ericsson 580i to HTC Touch Dual and now my new obession, O2 Xda Zinc.
I am so loving it. Bulky it may seem but it beats having that HTC Touch Dual which do not have a Wi-fi capabilities. I just love my life now. Better love my life now before I go...NS.

so I was still so uptight about the whole procedure today and while I was in the train, I notice there happen to be alot of guys carry cute balloon, flowers and kiddy kiddy stuff with them.
I was like freaking dumb not to know why? Then suddenly, there is like 2 guys infront me of asking themselves about the nearest toy's'rus. It suddenly occured to me it was Valentine's Day.
OH OH!! I was filled with amusement about my discovery....shucks my brain have really slow down...

MOVING ON

AS DEPUTY QUEEN OF THE ROYAL EVILNESS

HERE IS A ROYAL DECREE,

TO ALL LOYAL ROYALS, THERE WILL BE A ZOO OUTING AFTER OUR SENTOSA OUTING BETWEEN EARLY MARCH AND MID MARCH. TIME AND DATE NOT CONFIRM YET BUT PLEASE MAKE YOURSELF FREE AND ALSO PLEASE SAVE THE MONEY FOR THE ZOO TICKETS AND THE OUTING ITSELF. THE EVENT HAVE BEEN APPROVED BY HER MAJESTY QUEEN JAMIE OF THE ROYAL EVILNESS. PLAN MAY BE CANCEL IF THE TURN UP IS POOR. SO MY ROYALS, WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT. GOLDENS AMBBASODORS THIS INVITATION GOES OUT TO ALL YOU TOO. More updates to come.

lots of love,

DEPUTY QUEEN

Holiday time

2008-02-04T16:52:00.000+08:00

well, my long awaited holidays is finally here....since like 3 days ago. haha

Well, cant believed PRCP ended already. The thought of it have not sink in my mind.

haha. really cant believe sia. After NS and my two years bond, I must enrolled myself in a university. Must save money for that but before that need to get my braces done(yes, teeth are deformed) and get a car license.

I am seriously thinking to enrolled myself in NUS. But well that depend on my result though(most probably I wont make it) alternatively, private UnI to get my bachelor in nursing...

OH YES. But i need my advanced diploma first.
which one should i choose?

well, time will tell. but I want medical-surgical nursing..or may be oncology...
now that I am more de-sensitized toward D e a t h.

went out today, to go to school to pass Kylies Minogue albums to Grace.
Listen to "speakerphone", it is a great track. After that I went for dinner with Mandy.
Finally I know how to use the bluetooth capabilities of that HTC TOUCH DUAL.
Confirm, my bills going to shoot sky high this month. To the IT-Savvy people out there, please teach me to maximise the full potential of that PDA phone of mine. The only thing i can do is cam-whore with it. I like...haha.

Anyway, so in love with my new ICE-blender.
Now I can make ice-blended milo everyday. wahaha.
but Now I need to get a new sneaker for myself. So that i can finally jog in morn.
gosh, i am spending $$$ like water.

Damn, need to save money for my cruise trip and sentosa outing. here is an announcement:
TO ALL ROYALS and GOLDENS, THERE WILL BE SENTOSA BEACH OUTING AFTER YOUR EXAMS.
MAKE SURE U ALL ARE FREE BY THEN. DATE NOT CONFIRM COZ IT WILL BE LIKE A BOOTY-CALL. JUST BE PREPARED TO GO OUT AND HAVE FUN.

k den. i wanna make an ice-blended milo now....lol

2 more days

2008-01-29T21:59:00.000+08:00

Hope this one would be the next Singles...

Sugababes - Never Gonna Dance Again

Circles on the floor,
I'm getting down, low
but things ain't right, you're gone,
I'm losing ground, no

Do you remember when your head was mine?
it's all I ever think when it comes to you and I
no I can't feel right, how we couldn't seal the deal
the rhythm kept us going the only thing I feel (oh)

So I'm never gonna dance again,
I lost my rhythm when you said it's over,
And as the final record starts to fade,
I feel the dance floor turning colder,
And so I'm never gonna dance again,
Cause all the music in my world has faded,
I know it's never gonna be the same,
I guess our moves just never made it

Fron the start, A work of art
A picture perfect painting that I stored in my heart
we weren't so bright you know we couldn't get it right
our bodies intertwined now I can't get you out my mind
as we danced you know our feelings show
you oughtta know you got me
as we danced and flowed my heart exposed
now I'm alone you lost me baby

And so I'm never gonna dance again,
I lost my rhythm when you said it's over,

And as the final record starts to play,
I feel the dance floor turning colder,
And so I'm never gonna dance again,
Cause all the music in my world has faded,
Oh no it's never gonna be the same,
I guess the moves just never made it

I'm getting down but the rhythm's all wrong
the record goes around, they're playing our song
I gave into the groove but its giving me pain
there's nothing you can do for me Mr. DJ

And so I'm never gonna dance again,
I lost my rhythm when you said it's over,
And as the final record starts to play,
I feel the dance floor turning colder,

And so I'm never gonna dance again,
Cause all the music in my world has faded,
On no it's never gonna be the same,
I guess the moves just never made it

its over, its over
and so I'm never gonna dance again
its over, its over
and so I'm never gonna dance again
its over, its over
and so I'm never gonna dance again
its over, its over

3 more days

2008-01-28T17:35:00.000+08:00

Yoo hoo. Last week of posting!

I am so luving it. haha.

It is ending finally. My heart just could not stop pumping so fast.

Today there is de-briefing with the Clinical Instructor although we end on Thursday.

We bought her a precious moment glassware in a shape of a Nurse.

Well, that is so expected lah. Nurses rawk!!

Anyway, we also heard a good news today. All of us in ward

63C pass our clinical posting. You know that mean, We ARE SOON TO BE QUALIFIED

STATE REGISTERED NURSE. PLus from wat I know, all of us at least 75% for our posting.
Whahaha, That means a B plus is secured. HEHE, we are nurses with merit! Not bad haha,

Again, Nurses rawk! haha

Just hope the bell curve dont move.

Niway! A New Sugababes music video.
One word to describe it - VOGUE!

LOL. I love the fashion

7 MORE DAYS!!

2008-01-23T20:16:00.000+08:00

And Uninstalled...........

Well, i eventually attended the Installation. Jamie was very kind to allow me to go..
It gave me closure at least.

I shed some tears.When Mandy was singing, I just cant hold on my emotion. Yes, ATeam Bring out the best in me and ...damn it I hate changes. I dont want to graduate and leave Ateam..
Haiz...

Oh my god....the only reason I did not quit sch and Nursing was because of Ateam.
Now, I feel like I dont want graduate becoz of Ateam.....haha. crazy thought.

to be thick-skin abit.......I DONT WANT BE FORGOTTEN. LOL

Well, To the royals......I miss all of you already.
JIa yo!! Fews more week to go and lets go for our sentosa outing!

To The NEW EXCO. I congratulate you. Lead this team to the higher level.
Be Strong for yourself, for your strength is the support needed for this team.

And to the juniors ambassodars. Be yourself. No need to be what you dont want to be.
For all of us shine in own ways. Remember; The ULTIMATE love is to love yourself....

maybe I should be a philosopher like Aristotle. Whahaha

22 more days

2008-01-09T22:53:00.000+08:00

Met up with Jamie, Juliana, Mandy and Grace.
Miss them so much! I am so glad to meet them.

Then there is an issue about going installation.
Looks like most of us is not going.

I personally feel that I dun need to attend it.
But I cannot deny that at first I was so eager to go, but then something struck me.
What is the point if I go for the installation?
Is like a closure for all of us to say goodbye and get out of ateam?
Nah, what is the point for going! It just mark that I am going to be replace.

Haiz!!

Next is the last 3 week of posting.
I am so going to miss the ward.....

27 more days

2008-01-04T19:33:00.000+08:00

27 more day to end of attachment!!

I miss going to school.
No no. Not doing the ICA part nor the part where you have too sit in
the big sport hall to do your examination. I especially DO NOT miss the part
where free-rider shake leg throughout the group meeting,

But I miss the long break time, hanging out @ hotshot.
Talking rubbish and self-entertaining each other
and of course GOSSIP.

I have not had those is like MONTHS now.

Anyway, here's what happen today.

Confuse patient: arghhhh!!

Me : what you want?

Confuse patient: Tomorrow the DOctor will give all of you beer?

Me: why? For what?

Confuse patient: Because all of you work hard today.

Me: ??????? (what the fuck?)

OF all things why beer? As if I would drink it.
But I know doctor are one of the most stingy people out there.

FucK the Doctors!

That is a bit harsh. But no regrets saying that.

Thank God It' friday!

Tomorrow off day!

I shall enjoy my well deserve rest.

Counting Down!!

2008-01-02T20:27:00.000+08:00

Counting DOWN!!!

29 more days!!! to end of attachment!!

and BYE BYE to NYP!

anyway....

I am trying to enjoy work, slacking abit lah!
hahaha. not bad lah!!

Though my ward does not not feel busy anymore.
maybe I am just getting use to it. but still! I want to get out of ward 63C!

You know. Something set me thinking.....

What so good about 2008??

I am going NS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok that make me stress!!
Damn Damn! I got to lose 7 kg!

You know why?? So that My BMI is less 30!
If I have BMI more that 30 = 6 months of BMT.
Haiz!!

Don't want! Don't Want!
I Dont want to be in tekong for 6 month!

SO My current ear's worm for this week!

by SuGabAbes! Change!!!

This Song somehow reflect my future. Especially Now!
When I am so close to graduation! There will be alot of
changes around. New environment to explore.

One thing I hate about it is when the bond in a great Friendship
start to loosen. With the experience from secondary sch, I learnt
that some friendship just cant go on after a certain point.

It may be because that we have to lead our own life and someone just got left behind.
And may be, the one who change is myself.

Omg! It is like DeJavu! I wrote something like when I was sec 4!
But this time, I am more prepared! I am more ready than ever to face
the shift of environment. May be I am thinking too far but still, it will come anyhow.

Anyway! here's a song from my favourite Band.
You know I love them.

Sugababes - Change

If I could hold you close
Like you were never gone
If I could hear your voice
You'd tell me to be strong

But sometimes
I just can't
I just don't understand
Why you had to go
Why you had to go
I guess I'll never know

Ain't it funny how you think
You're gonna be OK
Till you remember things ain't never
Gonna be the same again
(same again)
Ain't it crazy how you think
You've got your whole life planned
Just to find that it was never ever
In your hands
(in your hands)
Change

If I could get to you
I'd be there in a minute
My world don't make no sense
Not without you in it

And sometimes
I just cry
Can't say I
Don't know why
But why'd you have to go?
(why'd you have to go?)
And leave me here alone
(and leave me here alone)

Ain't it funny how you think
You're gonna be OK
Till you remember things ain't never
Gonna be the same again
(same again)
Ain't it crazy how you think
You've got your whole life planned
Just to find out it was never ever
In your hands
(in your hands)
Change

You don't see it coming
Change
When the future comes knocking
It changed
It can make you and break you too
You just have to make it through
(You just have to make it through)

Ain't it funny how you think
You're gonna be OK
Till you remember things ain't never
Gonna be the same again
(same again)
Ain't it crazy how you think
You've got your whole life planned
Just to find out it was never ever
In your hands
(in your hands)
Change

Change, change
Change, change

Change

2008-01-01T14:55:00.000+08:00

OMG!

It is like 2008! woot!!

Bye bye 2007!

I change my template and forgot to save my link. (well done)
so tell me your link alright! so that I can RElink.

So my new year resolution. Same as previous years.....Lose the fats!
But the problem is that I will gain 10 kg instead.

Here's the trend

2005; 64 Kg
2006:73Kg
2007: 84Kg
2008: As in 1st January 93kg!

Omg! what have i been doing!1
Ok I will change new year resolution!!

Get ready and DIE in National Service!
LOL......

And also! to blog more! Blog religiously and blog and blog and blog!!

and BE more Healthier Spiritually, Physically and Emotionally. ( I am not depressed anyway)

on the lighter Side!

After my night shifts last week! Yeah! I finally did night shifts!
OMG. I got to tell you about all the drama that happen at Night!
And the fun too! but then that will be some other time lah.

So after the night shifts, I got 6 days off! Sweet!
Well, I went for a shopping spree! Even sweeter alright!!

So I bought two Shirt from Esprite.
Bought My Mum a bonia bag! She love bag!!
Bought my dad a Manchester shirt. My Dad is a Manchester FC freak!
But the weird thing is that after i bought the shirt for him, Manchester lost the match
that day. LOL tough luck I guess.

Plus wallets for my Mum and aunt.

And Me. Myself and I
I got what I want for such a long time....

Sugababes CD. I bought 2 of these! One for Quincy and the other one, of course for
Yours truly. HAHA. I am so in love with these album!
You should check out the track : Never Gonna Dance again, Change and Mended by You.
I am So in love with them!

Next CD is by Mutya Buena: Real Girl. Oh God! Totally amaze by her first solo album!
My favourite from this album is My Song, Not your baby and B BOY BABY feat Amy winehouse!

Lastly, Kylie Minogue; X! I didn't buy this album.
Quincy bought this for me as a X'mas Gift. SO nice of him!
So I got him Sugababes Album and Piglet and tigger plushie.
Both of us are Sugababes crazy!
Well, this album have make me a Kylie Minogue fan.
I am so addicted to her song " Like a DRUG".
YEah! The song is really addictive like a drug.
I cant stop listening to it and the urge to dance with this music is so overwhelming.

Then when to court tampines to get a laptop for my mum and a home stereo.
Woot! In total, I spent like $ 2ooo+ . Well, all of it is on my account.
Well, money best is spent on your parent.
The lappy for my Mum and a home stereo for my Dad.
LOVE THEM BOTH!

My brothers on the other hand, go get it yourself.
WAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAHa.

PRCP! hmm

1 more month to go!

I miss all of you! We got to tahan for another One more month.
And we will become Full-fleged Registered NURSE. Rawk on alright! Miss you guys load!
and I miss the smoking alley! I miss hanging out there! LOL
That is our spot alright

(due to my idotic brother so called 250gb external harddisk fail on me. all the photo are gone!)
anyway,

TO MY ROYALS!

I miss all of you to death!!!!!!!

I miss all the Crazy times we had!

and how we hate the previous exco comittee. OPPSS!!

Celebrating each others birthdays!!

And DOing Crazy Stunt Like this In PUBLIC!
We Look sexy alright!!

I cant believe Our Batch is really the Out-going batch and we ARE the MOST FUN and outgoing
batch! Time really flies when you are having fun!! 2008 will be a year when we open up another
New Chapter in our life. For the ladies, is the working world or the Uni life.
For Men like me, It it the big NS. haha!

Miss all of you!!

2007-12-26T01:21:00.000+08:00

GREAT! blogging while doing night shift

coool!

2007-10-26T23:27:00.000+08:00

ok this is an official entry for my 3 years old blog!

well, my entries is slowly reducing by the year as time pass by

I am less and less emo, narcissictic and more 'bo cap' ( did i spell it correctly?)
erm, nvm! Not significant anyway ( and that just prove my point)

Moving on! this is my last week of holiday!

after that, I dun think I have anything called holidays anymore!
Shits, I am entering reality very soon!

So I will have 14 weeks of attachment! I cant wait to go for my OT posting and my A&E posting!
This gonna be so fun! I hope!

Well, PRCP is coming soon!
This is the final test for us student to showcase our competency and be full-fledged Staff Nurse and not to give potassium bolus to patients or else u can kiss ur nursing license goodbye.

YEs yes yes, I am rambling! I am worried sick about my PRCP that I eat my way through the stress and now I am a certified nutty professor rather than a staff nurse! LOL!
Furthermore, I am a sponsered student, I cant afford to make any mistake! mistakes that can kill someone i mean. Haiz

lastly......

I want to change this template of mine! anyone can help me out?
LOL! May be i should revert to the classic template.

2007-10-25T21:21:00.000+08:00

I have totally forsaken this blog !!!!!!!!
LOL! sad sad !

my blog is 3 year old last month!

May be it is time for a shut down!

2007-10-05T10:27:00.000+08:00

Stuck In the hospital! But!

TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YEah! tomolo Saturday!!

2007-09-13T00:04:00.000+08:00

Apparently My 700th post.

ya da ya da yada blah blah blah

as usual i will be talking about my super mundane unstimulated life.....

I am only left with 2 1/2 week of holidays! goodness gracious! So fast the holiday are ending!
(I love to complain early. For I, The Muhd Hasrul, somehow have the gift of foresight for trouble and somehow knows how to taichi to someone else!) but attachment is un-taichi-able.
Damn attachment!

Well, tomolo is the start of fasting month! Hurray I shall starve! That would curb me from my uncontrol lust for food and sweet stuff! i will take it as a time to Detox! I gain 5 kg in 2 week!
That will amount my total weigh to 85kg! LOL talk about new resolution to lose weight!
Ah, bull shit! New year resolution are meant to be forgotten in like the very next day . Wahahaha. Well, I got to lose it somehow! NAPFa test is like less than a month time.
Well! I aim to get a COPPER! if you know what it mean, good for ya!

Somehow I cant view my clinical posting!
Damn, what is this Doris Chan doing! Well, One lady in-charge of a 3 years cohort of attachment plan! What a damn Super women!
I think I should read up on my clinical skill!
Gosh! I am gg to rusty for my next attachment! Die die

But in the mean time, Aunty Grace should know what is my latest obsession! The Nintendo
DS lite. LOL. Cant get enough of it! I was contemplating whether i should like buy a 2GB
micro SD card for my DS. well guess not! Look like my shopping spree comes to an end.
Of course, food is one of those thing that I splurge like nobody's business! Diabetes here I come to get ya and elevated cholesterol level. LOL

Cuzzin is going NS tomolo. Off to tekong! I wonder what is he doing right now. Sleepless night? Hmm! Well, my turn is coming up real soon! but i prefer not to think about it. When that day come, then panic like nobody's business.

Syaz is going off too! All the best ya!! Take care alright! I heard two weeks feel like an eternity there. LOL

As for me! I should go to bed now. Morning Breakfast can really be bitch once you are in Lala land. haha

tatas

2007-08-26T14:54:00.000+08:00

YEah! Finally got the time to update the blog!

When out with the royals last friday.Their exam ends that day!
Hurray!

I thought it would just be another fun outing with them. haha

But to my surprise they got me this;

An advance birthday gift, a Zen stone PLus.

OMG! I love it! Finally I got my own MP3. haha

Thanks you so much to the royal!
Jamie, Khairul, Felicia, Benjamin, Mandy, Grace, Juliana and Syaz.

We are meeting up very soon right! haha

Thank you so much

2007-08-23T19:45:00.000+08:00

There was a suprise given to me today!
Cutting of cake to celebrate Jane and mine birthday! LOL
SO sweet of them. I am so touched!

Plus Exam ended today! hurray!

a great burden is off my chest....

so is my only reason to be in school.....

Ok ok, I am being very depressive but still it is very sad lah.
Some significant change are around the corner.

Ruth is moving away from Yishun. One of my best friend in secondary school.
Thought recently i din talk much to her but I am going to feel the loss. The Trio, Quincy, Ruth and me, have always confide our secret with each other. Damn, a friend is moving away...

So what am i gonna do in the next 5 week?
Holidaying!

I am gonna miss my group.
And I also finish playing Final Fantasy III from my DS.
Great Game! Cant for Final Fantasy IV and VII to be release for DS.
I hope they do a remake FFIX for DS too. FFIX is my favourite of all the FF games.

I felt in love with a music in the game called " Legend of eternal Wind". Great Music!

Should download it soon! Haha

Tears Just flow non-stop!

2007-08-11T21:23:00.000+08:00

Yesterday,
we all just remain still.
some remain standing, some remain sitting down.

all refuse to move. like wanting time to stand still. refusing to move a single muscle

well, it was the last official lesson for all of us. and the most saddest of all lesson

Then in the middle of the lab room. There is big space. Ms Joan was in the middle.
Then Ms Joan start giving one us a hug!

Si Yun cant hold her tears back while Farah and Idah was mocking a cry.
But alas, all of us broke down. Tears just keep flowing like river

When it was my turn to be hug by Ms Joan, my eyes is filled with tears.

One by one, Ms Joan start giving out tissue paper.
And then the first year, 2nd year and 3rd year class president say it a little bit of
something to the class. Well, they cant say much as they too were choke with emotion.

Damn, I hate saying Goodbye! I really hate it.

haha, Ms Joan start giving out tissue paper and tell everyone to stop crying or else
she too would join. But then, she was from the army and she is a strong women.

Then when we again, take another opportunity to hug our favourite Mentor before
leaving the clinical lab.

When I Hug her, i broke down again.

She pull the our class together and even fight to get lesson with us.
Ms Joan Rawk!

Last week of academic studies for Nursing

2007-08-04T12:22:00.000+08:00

I am back from the BlueS!

OK, all my ICAs are over. All the module consolidation is done and now left the exams.
The final exam!

Somehow I don't want the exam to comes!
No no, It is not because I am afraid of exams. But it is more because of the fact that
it a symbol of separation of the Class NR0514 and ultimately the Kuntetz.

ARG! such such things again! It happened 3 years ago and now it is happening again.
Shuck! After this all of us will be going to our own Hospital and shall work hard to be a competent Staff Nurse upon graduation.

I set my eyes to accident and emergency course and attachment. Choosing trauma as my specialty would be good. I need to work hard!

2007-07-05T21:05:00.000+08:00

Free?

The virgo lost in it own element
the earth feels so unreal
the divine cosmic shift in excitement
Free, his fate unsealed?

I am tired. I freaking damn tirED
I feel so drained like my soul is slipping out of my body...

There is like too many things going on and GOD physically only give me two hands to
do zillions things at one time. The tonnes of work is stressing me out and truly, my
bitch fits is really getting more prominent and violent. Looks like I have to call it a Bitch Epilepsy from now on. HAHA.

Graduation duty is interesting. Well, it is like no different from other previous duties
that I have done. But the sight of my seniors getting a diploma really give me the cold feet now.
I ask myself this if I, Hasrul, can earn that diploma and fulfill my role as a dedicated and compassionate staff nurse? HAHA, It would be interesting to be call Staff Nurse Hasrul!
haha. I find it very CUTE!

I finally found a novel written by Catherine Lim, I borrowed it yesterday but yet to finish even the first page. haha. Still, I am happy to find that book which was like published 3 years ago but it never make its way to the shelves of Yishun Library. There is like so many things that I want do but I just dont have the stamina.
haha. I should exercise more i guess!

Eyes filled with shadow
sobbing but no one hear
desperation was so clear
yet there nothing there, nothing dear

2007-06-25T22:52:00.000+08:00

School begins today!

haiz! like I always say return to school syndrome and monday blues are good fomula
to destroy the week, except for Friday! Only friday we got salvation!

Thank God It's friday.

erm, tomolo tuesday! damn! &*#(!!!

HAHA, bro return home last sunday coz he was nt feeling well.

Poor poor him!

That asthma of his need to be control!

Well, FYP is far from ready! And my engine to work is far from starting! LOL

somebody ignite me!
haha!

haiz, need to work harder

royal outing this saturday!!

and I simply cant wait for it. I cant go class outing last friday,the royal outing gonna be a hell lot more fun!~ haha

fighting!!!!! LOL

* honestly, i feel like rotting anyhow*

2007-06-18T16:57:00.000+08:00

It been four days since 2nd bro when to NS

the house feel so quiet...............

it is weird when one member of the family is just not there..

the two weeks feel like an etenity.........

and......it is only fours day......

haiz....................................................

gosh, where is the dumbass when i need him........

................................................................................................................

2007-06-17T21:16:00.000+08:00

Finally got the mood to blog!

hmm, i guess this will be another short entry!

My entries is getting shorter and shoter for a simple reason which is
i am to lazy to blog about my boring life. My boring LIfe!

Hmm, come to think of it!Nah i dont think it is boring! * yes yes, I am contradicting myself. Welcome to my world*

if somebody could film my everyday life, it can be a whole series of comedy.
I think lah. hahaha. so many silly things happen to me..LOL.

ok, i am tired of blogging now!

anyway, A-team camp that was held last week is so fun!
it is great being a facilitator...

ok, i am tired of blogging now!

bye

2007-06-04T18:06:00.000+08:00

haiz!

I wonder what is wrong wit me?
i am becoming what I used to dislike...

feel so NOT motivated! but I cant give up now!
too many thing to do and too many thing dunno hw to do...

I wonder how long I can survive in an environment which there high usage in Vulgarities

I use is too. I know.....and I use it mercilessly.

I should change....really change to be better....
must start to hang out less with them..

I think i really change for the worse...change to person who have poor attitude toward his studies.

I need to control my life now!! I need to take more responsibility about my life
and take charge.
I should pray more.... i need to start praying!!

I need to be somebody better...apathetic attitude that is in should vanish!

Fighting!!

2007-06-01T19:33:00.000+08:00

Thank GOD it's Friday!

well, the week have not ended yet! Still gt NDP training session to attend tomorrow.
Now I have a having a HIGH Cognitive Dissonance!

Week 7 ended today! haiz! for more week to FYP!
and we have not done a single thing yet

well, the draft plan is settle already, now what I need it just to well for my
community health nursing. Anybody can share me a sample of a formal letter??
help me!* Crying OUT LOUD*

This is what happen when you course did not even teach you basic writing skill!
Damn! haha! anyway business student to help ouT?

haha. I got 5 ICA presentation to prepared!
Stress! Somebody shoot me! and plus, I dont even know how to go about doing this.
I really need alot of guidance. I need somebody dependable.

HAIZ! I can do it! I can overcome this Challenge! JIA YO!

2007-05-28T14:26:00.000+08:00

Long time no update...

alot happen lately......grandpa is in the hospital again.

I guess some complication happened. I shall not talk about it.

anyway, he is alright NOW. so no problemo.

moving, earlier today some secret about me is known to my clique.
haha! well, those stuff happen in past ! So i guess it ok for them to know lah!
they gt shock! LOL

funny funny!

Click here if you wanna know more. some lame stuff lah.

those naive times

anyway, two ICA down, 4 more to go! So I am so relieve! FYP is still a big problem somehow!

LOL.

2007-05-07T20:47:00.000+08:00

2007-05-01T22:31:00.000+08:00

It is 1st MAY!!

finally april is over. I hope the series of unfortunate event ends!!

2007-04-24T17:04:00.000+08:00

Passing time in School! YEAH School!
well, better than attachment lah.

Haiz, I still quite amaze that I am year 3 already!
(Enuff of that hasrul, you have been blabbering about being in year 3 in your last two entries)

Oppsy! LOL

Moving on, so why in the world would I , The Muhd Hasrul, be using the school computer
to blogger? well, just lazy to go home and then go to AMK mrt to meet Grace. MIght as well stay in school and rot.

Then suddenly the Little Angel and Little Devil * Kapooh* appear on my right and left shoulder respectively!

Angel: Oh BOY! Do your CMS! Study YOUR E-learning! Dun waste time

Devil: Hey man, Ignore that guy. Go and BLOG! there is alot of lame stuff which you can write
like right now.(LOL)

So naturally, The Hasrul decided to ignore the Devil and start studying..........

NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL, i rather slack! As much as I can for now! Go home need to study and
practise wearing Operating Theatre (OT) Gown. Yeah, there is a Green Fugly
OT gown in my bag right now! I wonder how many years of bacteria that thing harbour!!

But I will sure not bring it to my granpa house, he is soo gonna be traumatised!
LOL.....

I went to Mandy's blog and I saw this, I was tag to do s0mething... since I need to pass time,
so let just do it....

RULES: Each person who gets tagged needs to write a blog post of their own 6 idiosyncrasies as well as clearly state this rule. After stating your 6 weirdness you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names at the bottom of the entry. Dont forget to leave a comment on their tagboards that says â€œyouâ€™re tagged!â€ and tell them to read your blog for information as to what it means.my 6 idiosyncrasies :

1] I have a "12 hours underwear change rule" Or else I will start feeling dirty and insecure (shits, how am I gg to survive NS)
2]I fart loudly in my sleep( except during camp, cause I be semi-alsleep trying to prevent the 3 atomic bomb)
3] i think that is all I can think of. I am not that weird after all! LOL
4]
5]
6]

ok, it is only 5.30.......gt an hour plus to go!
I should have gone jogging or something...

Ohyah, I went for a run with dearest cousin and bro yesterday.
run for 2.4 km, my timing is 16 min 50 second. Not bad!
Gt improvement, well passing is 14 mins something something, i know i know...

at least gt improvement, that is such a positive reinforment...
but my stamina still poor i think.

Just had subgroup discussion for FYP and another 2 ICA that is both coming up
in week 6! DIE DIE!!

Next week is my skill assessment on Gowning! HAIZ!!! SO FAST
* MASS SUICIDE ANYONE?*

2007-04-19T08:11:00.000+08:00

Ira had a nightmare yesterday, she said in her dream, all of us would be doing our
PRCP and she would be left behind. All alone. She woke up and tears flow out.
When she told us that, we can see tears flowing from each other eyes.
Quite a sad moment when we think about the future.
May be we just love each other too much!

Cant wait for tuesday to come! haha

Hmm, I also come cant wait for 27th April! haha
Meeting the Royal again for may be our last A-team duty.

I feel like retiring from A-team soon but may be hard coz it is addictive. After that focus on
my academic all the way. Since I only left 6 months to study.

My bro going NS soon LOL. Next year gonna be me, haha.

2007-04-17T20:35:00.000+08:00

Second day as a 3rd year student, well not bad, it is good actually. Finally some academic, some theories today and becoming more efficient and effective nurse.
LOL, I just learnt the difference between efficient and effective during today lecture.

Anyway, I had$ no visit my grandfather for like a freaking 3 days, coz I thought he would be discharged today but unfortunately he cant. His renal function is not that great yet.
But I believed it wld get better.

While it is only 2 days of school, I already feel the stress as a 3rd year student.
Our mentor was kind enough to fight her way through to have the chance to teach us.
God Bless her! She would be taking us for alot of module!

Well, something is bothering me, it is bothering me very badly. It is my last 6 month in school actually. During this semester, I would do all the academic module and next semester wld be attachment all the way. So technically, now is the last time I wld be studying in sch!

It feel like Sec 4 in secondary school, where now I am thinking about the fact that my friends is going to leave me behind anytime soon, that include the Kuntetz and the Royals. I dun like this feeling. well, I should enjoy their company as much as I can and take more pictures!!

That why I use the song by Nelly Furtado. Coz yeah, all good thing do come to an end!

Kuntet and Royal: I love You guys alot!!!

Well, this semester gonna be a challenged for me, alot of thingy! 8 module to cope!
Wish me luck!

2007-04-14T21:23:00.000+08:00

Nelly Furtado All Good Things

Honestly what will become of me
don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is daily
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming

[Chorus]
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets in and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end

come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Die die die die die

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.

2007-04-13T22:22:00.000+08:00

April!!

the month of emotional rollercoaster for me.
The month I am so irrational, insecure,full of fear and worries.

April is not a good month for me.....so many thing happen in such a short while,
and this is only just the first half of april....

My grandfather had an acute myocardial infarction(heart attack).
My mum, my aunt, uncle and me was at Bukit Panjang for grocery shopping
and then we received a call from my grandfather neighbour, saying that my Grandfather had chest pain...

naturally, we rush! While i was in the car, I was crying already! tears just flow like nobody business. It was a really emotional roller coaster. nothing can decribe what i feel that day, and the few days later.

But My grandfather is a fighter, haha, that cute guy, he is back!! HAHA.
The days after the surgery is really scary, but he manage to pull through!!
so proud of him! and you know what! HE IS MY GRANDPA and he is 75 yrs old!

LOL

well, in the midst of the chaotic event, I loss my wallet, including my NRIC!
LOL! DAMN! but that doesnt bother me much, coz my grandpa is at the top of my list!
The loss of the wallet well, is nothing compare to the worries that i had in the past few days.

Ahaha! The royal camp! It was so fun! It really de-stress me but somehow i feel guilty that i was having fun while my grandpa is lying in pain in the ICU.
Picture?? haha, too tired to upload it haha! please refer to juliana's blog

Well, IMH post just ended today!!
Mental health is not what i expected, not my cup of tea,
but still I enjoy it !! today hor, gt a fight between two patient!
Wah, fun to watch sia!! LOL opps!

2007-03-25T12:44:00.000+08:00

Beyonce ft. Shakira - Beautiful Liar (mv)

Gosh! these two are just so super hotttttt stuff!
Beyonce and Shakira!! the belly dancing part can make my nose bleed. LOL

2007-03-25T12:22:00.000+08:00

bored bored bored! suppose to do a standby at bukit gombak, but there is a change of plan lah

so now just waiting for cases to come, i'll$ be expecting two cases, it is just a matter of time.

Feel so sin, I think I ate too much! Bad bad bad!
Haiz, when am i gonna lose all this weight? The thought depresses me already.

this picture make me feel even worse! Haiz!!

Suicide time!! LOL

anyway, is the background music sounds freaky to you?
LOL, for me it is abit at first, after sometime, it is quite nice listening to it.

I got it from some anime call " Elfen Lied".
Very gruesome show with lots of blood and people die being split apart.

but it is a sad show, go youtube.com and watch the whole series.

The song is call " Lilium". I think it mean " lily" in latin
The song is in Latin, lol.

Os iusti meditabitur sapientiam,
Et lingua eius loquetur indicium.Beatus vir qui suffert tentationem,
Quoniqm cum probates fuerit accipient coronam vitae.Kyrie, ignis divine, eleisonO quam sancta, quam serena,
quam benigma, quam amoena
O castitatis lilium

( translation)
The Mouth of Justice meditates wisdom
And His language, the tongue is made clear.Bless man which suffers temptation.
Since, he, with striving, will have received life’s crown.Oh Lord, Fire Divine, have mercy!Oh, How Holy! How Serene!
How Kind! How Pleasant!
Oh Pure Lily

2007-03-23T15:36:00.000+08:00

Okie, FInally find change that ugly template

Now it is some template about Jigoku Shoujo aka Hell girl!

Nice anime!! but kind of boring at times!

so the blog finally stabilize ! Can blog properly now.

it seem that I cant view Grace blog. Why?? hmmm, i think this lappy gt a problem! big problem!

Ok!! I am so freaking bored right now! Brain atrophy!!
haiz, looking forward for next week GM! Hehex

Last wednesday, when to city hall for a while, tagging along with Jamie and Khai.
Tempted to buy the havanas at newurban male but must hold on! It is not the time yet!
Must TahaN!!

Anyway, It was BenJamin Birthday! HE is 19! LOL
Naturally, there is Cake! The cake tastet great but oh my! The Calories!!

LOL, what Khai did after he ate that thing was to run for 10.3 km! OMG!
After that he saw a kitten nearby and play with it! Is that kitten mean something else(sound very suspicious) or it is really a kitten literally! OOPPPSSY!!

HAHA, he gonna kill me if he reads that!!

Anyway, there is alot to thing to blog about!

Hw bout start out with Exam result!

Nt bad! no Ds at all! Plus Gt 2 A. One B+ , one B and 3 c+.

Quite Disappointed in psychiartic nursing! I tot I cld do better! AND I actually studied for it
same goes for Med-surg! but what the hell, the result is nt good

The weird part is that I studied Psychology for like at the most 2 hour before the exam and I actually gt a B. Poly life is weird, the one u din study so hard gt better result than the ones u actually did study! So from now, dun study at all( as if that gonna happen)

anyway, thank god I score well, in the module wit high credit
Like Bio, 8 credit. and I gt an A. Clinical education, credit 8, gt a B+.
and surprisingly, an A for clinical lab! LOL
That push up my GPA a little!
From 2.96 to 3.o44! LOL not big diff but a big change from a 2 to a 3

'This mean I should work even Harder! since I know I can improve!
Pris told me that PRCP is going to be 19 credits! woah! that is alot sia!
I wonder hw much credit will my FYP be!

Moving on. Royal camp is coming up very soon! Hope It would be very enjoyable for the members!

Cant wait for IMH posting that is coming up very soon! I guess it must be fun!
Anyway, must not screw up this attachment!

Haiz! I gt the urge to spend money! NO NO!! dun listen to that little devil!
OMG! I feel like Golem from Lord of the ring! Going into some Psycho spasm!

I told quincy that I made a mistake in my exam, And I thought promiscuous mean one Sexual partner! LOL! HOW Wrong I am!

So this is what I wrote I my Exam!
How to prevent the transmission of STD?
Answer: BE Promiscuous! Have one sexual partner!

What a contradiction!
then he Just have to spread my small mistake to everyone!! LOL

2007-03-23T11:43:00.001+08:00

irritated!! hw can I blog without being able to view what i blog!!!

2007-03-19T23:14:00.000+08:00

testing 1234

I am back!!

2007-03-19T21:05:00.000+08:00

Finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can blog again!! Whahahahahahahha

It is about 2 month since I last Blogged! Two freaking Month!!
but still I got to do something about the template. Anyway, So sorry about the last post! So depressing! but ok lah!! I got so many tag due to it, WHAHAHHAHAHAH

SYazwan!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help me do the template. LOL

anyway, the lappy broke down due to the destructive effect of my brothers hand..
the lappy crash! then must be reformatted and then now, it is like brand new and now I can blog again.

Come to think of it, there is conspiracy going on, those idiots wont allow me to blog?? hmm

argh!! Ok, Working as first aid standby at GIant is quite an experience( I can sleep there) LOL

I was thinking about trimming my eyes brow. It so bloody thick! EWwww!
Ok, I disgusted by my own facial defect!

Cant wait for the next meeting this wednesday!! hehe! Cant wait to see all my great buddies!! my bros and sis!

haiz, i think I am growing fatter! FAT! FAT!!!

Gt to work out son!!

2007-01-08T22:22:00.001+08:00

Glass

Suddenly, it is not clear
once that diamond, so dear!
but now the glass that I fear.
No more words but only tears

nothing is what it seem anymore! i dunno you!
I dun recognise u! but I really know too well

is it time and space that force you to be this way again?
Hasrul Hasrul Hasrul!

gossiping , backstabing betraying ur goodfriend again....
that is like so you! Like so sec 4...the so call time when u are at ur "prime"

the self proclaim He-bitch.
Bitching like nobody business again!
Having a mouth of a whore like once ur sec sch VP told you.

Well, well, it is like a Dejavu isn't it.

The past caught up with you again!
This part of yourself which you thought died last year
finally return to wreck havoc again.

Do you have no conscious saying bad stuff about the one you love.
IS YOUR FRIEND NOT SPARE FROM YOUR FOUL MOUTH!

This hypocrite you is like so coming back!

Dejavu!

Politic,insulting, and cursing! that is ur favour games isn't it?

This so call the "evil" you is back!

but why did it return?

what cause it?
what make me this way again?
to be hated by people all over again?
To gain more sin?

Belladonna! Nice gets you no where.
I live by that rules everyday but is it time that motto
dun work anymore?

there is too much question about my confuse self?
I just need to write it out!
cant keep that poison in me. must drain it all out!

or I will keep myself away from hurting others more.

Fallen

So deep I have fallen,
worse than Lucifer expel from heaven
teary eyes went beyond swollen
I find comfort in a dark cold cavern

(you dont need to undestand what i am writing, it not about you, or you or you who is still not convince)

2006-12-26T22:41:00.000+08:00

I must be so bored that I am blogging again!
It is raining again! Gosh, that make me scare..
coz may ppl are homeless now in asia due to the
heavy rain.

In singapore, ppl like me can only whine
and hope the rain wld end. Some part of malaysia
people are suffering from the bitter cold and HOMELESS.

Yeah, I know is the monsoon season but i dun
believe it is that bad. Must be due to global
warming! Since the ice already start melting
in the north and south pole, this in turn cause
more moisture in the air and you know people,
it mean more tropical rain storm in places near the
the equator.

Talk about ecological imbalance. Many people
are falling ill. Quincy have been ill for like
two weeks now, plus his medication is finishing.
Boy, look at how the change of weather effect us.
Plus I knew some other ppl who is sick too.

Oh OH! I just hear the first thunder for today!
Anyway,not many can stand the cold especially
the old ones. Just hope this terrible monsoon will
pass our country quickly.

now, I officially feel that I am true
dumbell as I dunno what to write now.

The new year is coming! SO that mean
school is going REOPEN soon!
SAD SOB CRY!
I dun wanna go school!
Except for A-team meeting and event!
and meeting up with KUNTET!

BEsides that I DUN WANNA GO SCH!
I just wanna to sit in the corner
and Watch MTV, the Tyra bank Show,oprah, Get backers and
Everybody love Raymond.

WOW, it is getting cold in here.
and it is 11 pm.
boredom!

ok, i had enuff! Time to fly!

2006-12-26T15:44:00.000+08:00

Honestly, can I say what I mean
Don't you play with me
Cos I'm a lady

When I look in your eyes
I can see through your charm
You're constantly twisted
I'm angry, alarmed
Your poison has taken control of my soul
But I won't say no more
And I won't take no more

[Chorus:]
Sometimes I wonder where this feeling began
Deep in my heart right from the start
Tired and lonely I'll move on from this pain
I'm starting again I'm breaking the chain

Emotionally, it takes all of me
Apologies, but you don't really have a hold on me

There's a distance between us
And you take the blame
I know that you try but
At the stage of the game
I've started a new life
There's no turning back
With you now, don't you know, can't you see I got over

[Chorus:]
Sometimes I wonder where this feeling began
Deep in my heart right from the start
Tired and lonely I'll move on from this pain
I'm starting again I'm breaking the chain

Had to take matters into my own hands
Falling this deep wasn't part of my plans
If turning this around is what I have to do
To get through to you
My fire's burnt out it's true

[Chorus:]
Sometimes I wonder where this feeling began
Deep in my heart right from the start
Tired and lonely I'll move on from this pain
I'm starting again I'm breaking the chain

This one of my fav song by Sugababes.
Just wanna share this song with you!

2006-12-25T12:43:00.000+08:00

To all those Who are Celebrating Christmas!

Have a HappY Merry Christmas!!!

2006-12-23T22:12:00.000+08:00

Listen to Sugababes last night! I still remember how
i use to freak out everytime I listen to Sugababes!
Haha. that was the fun times!

The time when problem seem to be far away.

But some song still touch me and make me realise who I am again.

The song 'stronger' and 'shape'. the song lyric is just great!

Anyway, I talk to a friend. The only person who i can
trust my most deepest secret! Anyway, Quincy and me chat for about
3 hrs!

of course, he always help me out emotionally!

Then I realise something,I AM SO STUPID! STUPID STUPID FUCKING STUPID!
I look at my hand and I realise I scarred it.
Gosh, that thing wont go away!

Where is the 'self love' thing which I always preached about?
I am not being fair to myself! Being stupid and always
act on the impulse.

I should grow out of this.....coz like Bushra said
" what U doing is soooo secondary sch". Dumb!

Well, now that depressing period pass!

I went swimming with all my sweet cousin
(including Diyana,she feel like family already) today!

So refreshing! Boy, my stamina is so rotten!
Totally not good. But let me just comfort
myself by saying that I have a bad lung! LOL

2006-12-22T16:48:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, I had a super duper fun time! Plus plus plus.
It is freaking fun!
LOL,to the extend that I forgot about
time and mummy was angry!
LOL, I had to tiptoe when I got home! LOL

Suppose to be meeting them at 1.30 pm at orchard MRT.
But I was like late by a few minutes.
But the rest came much later.
The one who is punctual and may be even early is Aunty Grace.
Boy, she gave me a nag for being late.
Haha….In the train, guess who is there to accompany me
throughout my journey, Haha, It is Tian Yu,
that boy have not be in contact with me
for a while now! But anyway, we had a good chat in the train!

Anyway while waiting for the rest to come, Val, Jane and Vet
walk pass and wave at me!
Haha, fancy seeing them there!
Haha, Well, after I arrived, it was Mandy turn,
And then Felicia and last the almighty big brother Khai !

Let me do a shout out first!

Khairul,

All the best for your Tennis competition at Australia! Do Singapore Proud!
Bring back some goodies too! LOL

Moving on , we when to the food court at Wisma
and bought a few dessert! LOL. Plus the desserts are so colorful!
Haha, Don’t worry, there be a lot of pic for you to see later!

2006-12-22T16:48:00.000+08:00

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2006-12-22T16:47:00.001+08:00

Felicia, Mandy and Aunty Grace

2006-12-22T16:47:00.000+08:00

Khai aka Khairul!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-12-22T16:46:00.003+08:00

2006-12-22T16:46:00.002+08:00

2006-12-22T16:46:00.001+08:00

2006-12-22T16:46:00.000+08:00