I THINK MY MIND IS MORE CLEAR TODAY


last night i just have to let everything off my chest...let everything out...let everything bare

i always feel so much better after writing stuff out
i dunno why but may be through a blog i feel that at least i can talk to something

i like the whole world is off my chest/breast! LOL

unlike talking to people, they may have ears but they dont listen..
that is unfortunate....maybe i am that tooo


<>
what the fuck! LOL

ok nvm! I will just rewrite!

as i was saying!

there is this wise bunkmate of mine who told me that instead of accepting and be comfortable with the weakness and the shortcoming that u have, why dont u do something about it and make it better.
his words run through my mind

all my life i have believe that I am fat and i am not as fits as anyone else but i can leave with it as long as i love myself. i always use that as my life philosophy!
but come to think of it, may be i have been using it as an excuse to work hard and be better....
i should change my life perspective..

you know i have been talking to this guy, let call him......S...
he somehow told me that i am somewhat emotional and i cant control myself bitch-fit
lol...may be i am that....well, s is younger than me by a couple of years but he taught me somthing that day...i will not say here but although he is crazy and somehow funny, he taught me more about myself and he change the way i look at things now..

he may know it but i would like to say thank you


another thing is this,
there is this guy who told me that i should run and exercise more as he notice that i am more getting more lethargy by the days. yes...i have not been running lately . but instead of taking it as an advice or like a friend trying to help u out, i took it in offensive way.
i dunno why but to me it sounded like he was sayin that i am fat and should do something about it. i feel it like a slap to my face...


i know feeling that way is totally irrational and baseless
plus i should be more thankful that someone is reminding me to be healthier

i dunno why but am i taking thing negatively or am i more cynical...
hmmmmm,,,,,,

i talk to my mum about all of this and she told me this
" you think to highly of yourself. when someone tell u ur weakness it is somehow a slap to ur big ego"

hmm, may be it true......maybe i hve forgotten to be humble.....
or may be becoz i thing i am a nurse in this course that i feel that i am better it skill or may be it better in everything compare to everyone else.....

gosh, look like i forget some lesson that nursing taught me....to be humble...

humility.....

i should learn that word and understand it true meaning



ok i am gg to say something random


i miss my royal