Yoz!!! hie.... ok , well i have not blog for more than ten days, bad bad of me.....
the top most reason is my com broke down, but abit of laziness too.....

hmm, well, so wat up wit me?? hmm, ntn up. juz a reality check that pulling me down,haiz, but wait first thing first,


ok, my quest for the greatest food have ended, ok sorry, i am getting fatter. haiz,
it time to make sure that my B.M.I is in the ritex range, haha.....

last friday, i had a clinical lab lesson which i hate the most....it really give me a great impact. very sad impact. it affected my weekend, filling it with fear and anxiety about the future. well, that lesson was about the last office of nurses- the final duty dat we give to our client....haiz, u know what am i talking about, sumthing which nurses is bound to see, death, the stone cold process of death, haiz..........i am almost to tear during the lesson, fear fill my heart despair was overwhelming. haiz.......
well, we learnt how to clean a body, handle the lifeless thing gently and clean it, so that when realtive comes, the can see their loves ones as if they are sleeping, haiz, we muz bath the body......but the saddest part is putting the body into tho the mortuary shroud....a white colour plastic thingy where we cover the body after we bath it.......
althought it juz a dummy, we have to imagine that it is the real thing.....

i juz cant bear it.......
i cant imagine it as a person....
i cannot do it
i fear it
i despite it
i hate such thing to happen

on that day, i realise that i dun have a strong heart.....
the heart to see suffering....
i juz cannot

i dun want to see ppl dying on me
never....

but it is inevitable


maybe it sooner than i expected....

well, i am posted to SGH on 29 August....

may be i will,


become numb....








death is juz so cold.....