Last day Of Attachment

Yesterday, was a mixture of happiness and sadness for me,,,,

Before I came and entered the ward, I told my friend that I hope somebody in the ward dies today....oopss.....i added on saying that 3 weeks here and nothing interesting have happen..
hope something spice up the last day....

true enough, we were welcome with a news that one of the patient which i happen to take care for the last two week have pass away...
I was like "really he died already". I dont know what happened to me. I was in full of disbelief. I never expect him to die. Not a single time it cross my mind. He is a very irritating patient. Trust me. I dun quite like him .

(background knowledge: for the first two week of my attachment i was attach to room 13&14. It a male wardfor kidney patients. well, he was on dialysis. I learnt a lot there, the last week of my attachment i was put in room 21, a rehabilitative ward, mostly paralyse and stroke patient. Well, last week on friday, he was discharged from hospital. I was so happy that he got discharged, no more rude patient. Then this week on tuesday, i was suprised he was readmitted ward 13&14. He seem to be very healthy. Strong enough to grumble i guess.
Well, i always complain to the other nurses on how irritating he is, well, of course i show a little attitude toward him everytime i saw him. I walk with my head held high. Ignoring him.
Then yesterday, i found out he died of heart attack. haiz, his blood pressure was low the day before.)

I was in room 21 when this guy name sofian, a student nurse also,
return to ward 21. He was in morning shift while i was in the afternoon. He say he was very tired. I ask how come? ohh, he answered"I just finish helping In Last Office"

Last Office= The last duty of a nurse to their client. To let them be dignify even in death.

me: huh who died?
Sofian: that guy lah, On bed 14/6/
me: really, he died already. (smiling coz i tot he was joking, i was super surprised.)
oh ok, I go see lah.


i walk toward room 14 and saw the bed 6 was screen with a curtain.

me: hello Chong
staff nurse chong: ya. Thank goD got morning shift student nurse is there to help out.
hey, U go see lah, say ur final good bye.


Me: (nternal monolog) huhs, you expect me to see a face of a dead man, helo, i am alone there. No way. but wait, my curiousity is killing me.


I was damn scared to open the curtain sia,
I wait for my friends to come, and they open the curtain.
We saw his face. Yellowish. Motionless, in the mortuary shroud.

In my heart it say: is this the man which i complain about to my family and friends.?
Damn it. he is dead, I did not even had a chance to say sorry to him.
he is gone now.........


NOw I am in deep regret........
If I knew he gonna died, I would not have been such an asshole toward him....
last night, i woke up thinking of him......

haiz............


BY the end of the day, which about 9 pm,
Our shift ended. Well i felt sad that we are leaving the ward...
although it is only 3 weeks, i am emotionally attached there.

I knew my patients like my friends. the nurse there always tease me and we have fun together. haha. I made alot of friends there.

I would definately miss taking blanket and put over them. hold their shoulder and say "gud night" and smiling at them.
The intangible in the ward is so rewarding.

Now I believe in IT.....