I am Back !!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok people, haha, i am here again, well as usual, when i am here to whine, hmm , haha talk about the whining, somehow i miss the way Miss Phua say this, " Hasrul, stop whining" or " hasrul shut up" haha, ya it irritating to her but it ok i guess, somehow i like it when she dat, it mean i got her attention, haha, you guys muz be thinking what the crap i am talking about ritex?..haha..dun mind me, it is meant for only me to feel, i guess......

somehow i feel so forgetted.....its like i never exist animore...somehow i am juz all alone all over again....seriously, i can broke down anytime, i have no where to pour out my heart out besides this freaking blog....there no one there to listen to my cry animore, i feel so unwanted when i mixed with my old friend while they are mixing with their new friends...so lonely...everybody is too busy this, too busy that.....what am i now? an invisible shit to you people? suddenly i am out our mind already? howcome must i always approach you ppl in sch while u guys never did that to me......if you saw me , the only thing u do is jus say a plain freaking "HI", only that, is that enough for me to understand you and how is your day in school? i noe you guys got this new friends of yours, but how bout me? you always give me some of this supercial talk only, well, what? i can listen to deeper stuff izzit?......fine, i feel so humilited that quincy did that fucking attitude problem to me. Ok i and sarala, where ask to come back to North View to invite people there to come to YJC for Values Day, they need three people from north View to that, so we decided to approach quincy...plus it was about 6pm... evrybody is damm tired liao. so quincy is with his new friends, i approach him ..... then tell him about that stuff, ok" he say he cant do it" so sarala and I, too tired to think and desperate for people juz stare a quincy.. It as if we are very interesting to do it, then he start his attitude problem, he slam his book and walk and show this annoying face and continue to do his work, pretending we nv exist ....i cant take it, i feel so humiliated, he did that to me infront of all his new friends.....i feel so insulted...can you believe my good friend did that to me.Where i have to put my face? What am i now? A nobody already. He never spare a though about my pride at all. Hello, if you are that busy, you think we are not izzit?, we still have alot of this shit to do also...somehow i think you are too busy with your friends...u noe what, i purposely try not to be so close with my classmate so that if there anything happen, i will not consider about them and put you people on my top priority...but it useless now. I declared now from this day forward, i wont give a single shit about anyone !!! I have enough!!! i dont want to wait for you at 7 am in the morning animore, i want to walk alone. YOU people have now make realise that i cant rely on anyone for it will make me weaker.... so from this day forward the word " friend" is out of my vocabulary and most importantly out my heart. Dont say that i am too drastic, but have anyone send me an sms to say how am i doing. I dont think so? why i am the one who did that. Fine,you people are no more the jewel which i cherish , rather be alone. Like that i will never get hurt and humiliated like that again.... anyway if i ever smile at you , dont think i am being nice, it juz my nature to smile and cheery, i wont give a fucking hell about you anymore. If i ever ask question which somehow try to be concern about you, dun take to seriously from this day forward, for i will never mean it from now on, take is as an expression only, nothing more than that..

When that happen, it increase my depression more, firstly, i cant go back to north view for cca anymore. Now school always ends at five how am i able to help st john now? i really want to contribute more stuff to sjab, i even more sad that i have to break my promise which i made to Mr long. I told him that i will come back but now i cant. i always told my junior to honour their words but it seem i cant do that, i feel that i am a failure. A failure as a role-model for my juniors.
plus my maam will have to do all the thing by herself.

Life is really being plain annoying , well my belief is that something good will happen, but what is it? how long muz i put up with all this shits? i am alone now.