Just reallly BORED!!!! haha , interpret my poem

sweet scent of the rose.....................

wassup with the rose????
i dunno, i kind of like it nowadays!!!!

I mean, i like writing poetry, that why it pop up!!!!
long at my previous entry.. it start with "sweet scent of bleeding Rose"

LOLx
, YOU know what it mean????..................
oklah, in my point of view, my poetry is abit obsence(<----did spell it correctly).......
ok fine, i have poor command of englisH!!! me only know how to talk the language, not write it out,

dont ask me why i blog in the first place if i do not know how to write properly!!!
shut it!!! get the question out of your mind!!!!


sweet sweet scent!!!

wait let me refer to www.dictionary.com






oh, find iT is "obscene"........


why obscene>? what so RA about that ?
hmm,

sweet scent of bleeding Rose

let's start with the "bleeding Rose"

Rose in my term represent women !the rose symbol of love , lust and sex!!!
WOO hoo...bleeding , emphasize on that !!!
bleeding !!!!!


(warning: this is where the dirty part come)


when a women bleed?when she have menses?duh !!!
but what so sweet about menses blood!!!! ewww!!!!
grosss, wait i freak myself out!!!

LOLx,

Sweet scent of Bleeding Rose

now what i am refering to is virgin blood......
ewww, hasrul why so grosss!!!! oh, shut it, i like it ,what you gonna do???
ok ok, i am not such a sicko lah, it juz came into my brain,call it a stroke of genius or sudden surge of perversion, say whatever you like!!!!!

when a virgin blood is is bleeding!! it mark the end of a women purity!!!!
it mean that gal is having sex for the first time.

"sweet scent "
well, on that part, i am directing it to the lust of a man!!
how he exploit it !!!! enjoying it !!!! taking advantage of a women purity!!
understand???

so the basically, the first line tell about a man raping a virgin maiden !!!!
exploiting every part of her, doing it without conscience, , plus it show the loss of the women, dignity!!!!

The shadow have Blight your growth

if take the second line literally, it is true, darkness will impair the growth of plants.

but now, what i am talking about is the trauma the lady will face.....
being rape is a big thing!!! WOW ! this event will haunt her, for the rest of her life!!!


You shall wither but not die

hmm, how to say this!!! ok, being rape, their will be lose of confident and constant fear, this memory shall linger with to no end, with the loss of her dignity , she can no longer stand tall!!, she will crumble slowly and painful, but she will not die.....

leading a miserable life!!!!!


The soil you rely now your poison

literally, plants cannot live without a soil!!, it must depend on it for nutrient and so that it will stay healthy.
the rose have to depend on the soil for it developement!!!

this part, i have two interpretations.

firstly, is that , she have been betray by someone who is very significant to her!!
well, or maybe somebody close!!!! the person she rely on to is the very cause of her downfall!!!
the father? brother? lose friend? you decide?

or may be secondly

after she was rape, the one close to her is the one who betray her !!!
for now, she is consider unclean. well, it brought shame to the family,
now the family member shun her,
the one she rely on now critisize her
she no longer have support
from anyone-all alone, destroy by hand whom is suppose to hold her


so sad
oh my sweet sweet rose.......

Sweet scent of a bleeding Rose.

The shadow have Blight your growth.

You shall wither but not die.

The soil you rely now your poison

honestly, i dont know what to do!!!!

so much free time!!! and i hate it.........

ok lah, it is kind of fun on my first two days....

wait, it is not fun to begin with !!!!!!!!!!
my bro gt a three weeks MC!!!

fuck , 3/4 of my holidays is with him!!!!
help me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok now, i try not to eat much nowadays....for some obvious reason...
u noe!!!! fats.
ai yah, it was a total failure. Damn it!

the food is so tantalising!!!!!!

OWWWW!! buay tahan...muz eat!!!!

hmm, I been trying to improve my chinese vocabulary....LOLx
ok lah, I manage to get a D+ for my Chinese exam..
Ok it now just a D but a D+ with a + beside it. LOlx
so proud of myself....

ok lah, not as gud as some of you ppl..but still i am satisfy...

was watching the news juz now!!! then they say this " Student can Now go to a POLYTechnic without Doing O level"

I was like " fucking shit, this will make our effort of studying like hell to waste!!!"
it belittle the " O level" and make us look as if we are wasting our time taking the O level.

LOLx, ok lah that was my first impression......

to be honest, i look at O level now as some stupid piece of BLoody FUcking Paper!!!!!
such a waste timE!!!! the truth is i dun apply much wat I study in secondary SChool to a Polytechnic.

Fuck with Math!!!!!!! Fuck to COmbine Humanities!!! Fuck To Physic!!!!
BLOOdy useless subject!!! study so hard but not a fucking applicable subject in life.

I mean like isnt it nice to choose the choice of our future career at SEc 3.
So that we can just study the requiste for our Course!!!

what am I toking??. ok for example :
I want to be a nurse.

so the subject that I need would be English, Biology and Chemistry and some simple math.
ok that would be fine!!!

no need to waste time studying insignificant subject like geography and social studies...and PHYSIC!!!!!!!

Heck care about the stupid O level aggregates system.....
i think it would be much better!!!

we should make early choice!!

dun tell me that we need to know this shits call " holistic education"

Fuck it, the higher YOu GO!!! the narrow ur eduction is!!

so might as well specialise now and focus on something!!!

I got to admit Audi is wise. somehow he know he gonna be a videographer so he start all this video stuff since secondary school. stroke of genius!

Is That what you call Passion? haha.

who knows?


But if sumhow You dun like the course? you can change. dun tell me that you would waste one or two years. the truth is You dunt and dun tell me out of two years u dun learnt anything?

nothing goes to waste!!
ok i am like contradicting myself if u relate wat i say now toward O level.

so let me rephrase " without O level, we can make use of time much more effective and specialise in one course"

1 or 2 years is nothing lah, unless suddenly ur dead
LOLx

aniway, it better to waste a few years rather than being unhappy for a lifetime.
who knows if there no such thing as reincarnation, there you go, you lost one big opportunity.

Ok , if there is such stuff call reincarnation, you might end up a dog, a pig or even a bacteria.
LOLx.

so moral of the story, if u can change smething, change it now
before u something regretful happen.!!!!!

oh on the other hand if you like some stuff and the only thing that coz you to quit is your poor self-esteem. then might as well you jump down into the well with SAdakO!!!!
have fun together!!!

if you like sumthing , dun give up becoz some ppl in the same cohort is better than you!!!
who cares, they might have brain , but may not have the same passion!!

they are not YOu !!!! unless you gave up or they have more passion than you!!
it is ok to feel like quitting!! juz dont do it!
hmm......

jus my wothless tot!

k den gtg....

Why are You keeping quiet?






What wrong Did i do now?



Don't be that way.



Please.....




Hey, I said enough.

Don't make me feel this way.

I beg you.




Rose.....





If you don't want to talk to me. Never mind Then.
But just please look at me.




Don't close your eyes on me.


Don't put me away.


coz no one can me give that warmness beside you.




Rose.......


I longed to hear you voice again.....


Don't Punish me like this.


I willing to do anything to make you smile again.


Just smile, ok?





Rose.....




You look so cold.


Don't You love me anymore?


Why are You acting this way?


I am just a few moment late.....


How long you gonna be this way?




Rose.....

Here is our wedding ring.


It would look nice on your hand.


Come on.


Wake up.


Don't you want to try it on?




Rose.....


I know I am abit late.


Your Silence Kill me from the inside.


You are too dear in my heart.


Seeing you this way rupture my heart...





Rose....


please wake up....


the doctor say that I am too late

I dont understand what he means.


I ignore him.


I wanted to see you so badly.


Rose....


Your hand are cold...


let me hug you....


Rose...

Your body is cold...


Rose!! Rose!!


WAKE UP!!!


I am only FEW minutes late and YOU have to leave me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Rose!!!!!!!!!!!!


Dont Leave me!!!!


I have nothing beside you


i have nothing....


why!?



****************************************

After one year of blogging, let me rate my own progress....

hmmm. 0% progress...

haha

well, if such stuff really exist i think my progress will be below 0.
minus 99%.......


LOLx.....
hmm, well i am just happy that i can maintain a blog for one year....
it stood the test of time,,,,
wahahhaha....

hmmm, damn, I miss the hospital already and all the cute patients. haha.
serious they are very funny.

After 3 weeks of working, I realise i have not been in much contact with people who is once close to me...
Now i am feeling kind of lonely, serious lonely....
Go online also like nothing much to do.
OK, now i just read people blog....


sarala and tian yu is having her promo up ahead
quincy is having exam ritex now,
i am not close to nyp friends.

PLus I am having My fraking One MONTH HOLIday NOW!!!!
What the heck should I do??
Prepard my Olevel english exam? honestly, i regret signing Up for it,,,,
wahahhaha, ok bad bad me......

Last day Of Attachment

Yesterday, was a mixture of happiness and sadness for me,,,,

Before I came and entered the ward, I told my friend that I hope somebody in the ward dies today....oopss.....i added on saying that 3 weeks here and nothing interesting have happen..
hope something spice up the last day....

true enough, we were welcome with a news that one of the patient which i happen to take care for the last two week have pass away...
I was like "really he died already". I dont know what happened to me. I was in full of disbelief. I never expect him to die. Not a single time it cross my mind. He is a very irritating patient. Trust me. I dun quite like him .

(background knowledge: for the first two week of my attachment i was attach to room 13&14. It a male wardfor kidney patients. well, he was on dialysis. I learnt a lot there, the last week of my attachment i was put in room 21, a rehabilitative ward, mostly paralyse and stroke patient. Well, last week on friday, he was discharged from hospital. I was so happy that he got discharged, no more rude patient. Then this week on tuesday, i was suprised he was readmitted ward 13&14. He seem to be very healthy. Strong enough to grumble i guess.
Well, i always complain to the other nurses on how irritating he is, well, of course i show a little attitude toward him everytime i saw him. I walk with my head held high. Ignoring him.
Then yesterday, i found out he died of heart attack. haiz, his blood pressure was low the day before.)

I was in room 21 when this guy name sofian, a student nurse also,
return to ward 21. He was in morning shift while i was in the afternoon. He say he was very tired. I ask how come? ohh, he answered"I just finish helping In Last Office"

Last Office= The last duty of a nurse to their client. To let them be dignify even in death.

me: huh who died?
Sofian: that guy lah, On bed 14/6/
me: really, he died already. (smiling coz i tot he was joking, i was super surprised.)
oh ok, I go see lah.


i walk toward room 14 and saw the bed 6 was screen with a curtain.

me: hello Chong
staff nurse chong: ya. Thank goD got morning shift student nurse is there to help out.
hey, U go see lah, say ur final good bye.


Me: (nternal monolog) huhs, you expect me to see a face of a dead man, helo, i am alone there. No way. but wait, my curiousity is killing me.


I was damn scared to open the curtain sia,
I wait for my friends to come, and they open the curtain.
We saw his face. Yellowish. Motionless, in the mortuary shroud.

In my heart it say: is this the man which i complain about to my family and friends.?
Damn it. he is dead, I did not even had a chance to say sorry to him.
he is gone now.........


NOw I am in deep regret........
If I knew he gonna died, I would not have been such an asshole toward him....
last night, i woke up thinking of him......

haiz............


BY the end of the day, which about 9 pm,
Our shift ended. Well i felt sad that we are leaving the ward...
although it is only 3 weeks, i am emotionally attached there.

I knew my patients like my friends. the nurse there always tease me and we have fun together. haha. I made alot of friends there.

I would definately miss taking blanket and put over them. hold their shoulder and say "gud night" and smiling at them.
The intangible in the ward is so rewarding.

Now I believe in IT.....

Is one year move so fast!!!

haha, i was looking at my blogging archive and i found i remember that i started blogging
since september 18 2004...

so that mean that Tomorrow is my First Anniversary of BLOGGINg......

LOLx.....Lame.........

well, i read what I have read since last year some bitter sweet memories is there...frozen in time...
my emotion frozen in time.....
my feeling in NVss frozen in time.......

hahaha. ........