she tore her flesh in a game of death
that day recurs in her heart and soul
Now she is the new lady Macbeth
till an early death, her secrets untold


understand what I wrote above?
Know what is my theme in that poem?
If you don't get it never mind....I don't blame you but
Tian Yu!! share me you thought about this poem.


WEll, Lets talk about yesterday first. The monday blues is totally illuminated by
the afterglow of passing my clinical assessment and finishing my ICA for the week.
I believe that the hardest ICA I have ever present due to its complex nature.
All thanks to Jolin, Michelle, Jane and Sunjing for their hard work.

Well, tomorrow is my clinical theory test but I have not study enough yet. I am having a sudden urge of laziness or may be I am experiecing a burn out. LOL
What a joke! Burn out? LOL. Whahahhaha. Ok, burn out is such an overstatement.
The Only time I had a burn out is during O level and I lost 10 kg due to it. After that I never experience any burn out anymore. For now I mean. You know why because I am not in the Highest level of the so called Academic Heirarchy. Undertand? decipher that yourself.

Anyway, I do undergo stress in poly. I am not saying that I don't have a burn out and that mean the poly is like a garden of Eden. Well, you know what? It far from it.
At least nanyang is abit closer to the garden unlike SP and NP. LOL. That school is so look run-down. Hello MOE, could you do a make over for that type of poly. EWWW!! especially NP! make it look like TP coz TP looks nice. Such a beautiful school. But too far from yishun.


Moving on, I know I know!! I am being lazy in updating my blog. It just that the gust of inspiration have not struck me very often lately. Plus with my metabolic retardation induce by laziness it just make matter worse.

What the?? I am suppose to be studying not blogging. Haiz,,,,,lazy lazy lazy!!

oppsy daisy,

Look at my tag. somebody demand me to update this blog.
LOL. well, this week have been very busy and it cause me to procastinate more stuff.

note: I am going to be very explicit

This week I had my "menses".

No NO. Not the type of menses when you have emotional mood swing.
This is quite literal. I mean it not that literal but it something like that.
It freak me out but the last time I had this kind of stuff was two years ago....

Well, I was in the toilet doing something big. NO Lah, Not masturbating! don't be so crook! LOL. Anyway, while I was washing up, i saw blood! RED BRIGHT BLOOD. damn.
I freak out sia. When I saw that, I was thinking of colon cancer. Something is the hell wrong with my rectum. YEs, there is bleeding at my anus.

then i remember something, i HAVE NOT BEEN EATING ENOUGH FIBRE!
basically, I am chickentarian! I eat chicken and rice. That is my primary source of food!
so now, the next thing on my diet is papaya! I will now eat papaya diligently.

So people it is important to eat fruits and vegetable so that you can have a good bowel and not have a bleeding ass like mine. ( anyway it subside liao, bleeding no more) I am ok now.


Last few days, I had A-team duty, well I look smart in that blazer but!!
Within the blazer, I was suffocating. Imagine my size 36 waist in a size 34 pants.
GOD, I am like suffocating. It was an equivalent to a corset!! The agony!.

I need to lose my weight! but but, I cant resist food....


slack!!

When somebody out there like what you do.
When somebody you don't know actually appreciate your work.
It is just greaT!

hehex....I am so elated( <-----I am using this word for the first time because I think everyone seems to be using it. So I am following the trend.) I feel so honoured when I read this at one of my blog. It say :

brae said...
I have just read your blog and your words are fantastic!
Keep on posting and I will keep returning!

That post have nothing to do with this blog. It got to do with my blog which I put my poem.
haha. well, I only told a few people about my poetry blog. But I will not tell you. definately! I would not tell you. This due to the fact that my poem may have grammer mistake and some of you may not like/understand my poem. Plus I am not a literature student. so whatever i do will be utter rubbish to many. Plus my grammer suck.

anyway, to Brae

I thank you for your kind support. I know I have not update that blog for a month.
But it does not mean I have forsaken it. It just that inspiration is hard to come by. Well, if your bored feel free to drop by and see for any update.

Yours,
Hasrul





so today I did not study! I was overwhelm by laziness! and no mood to revise.
the bio is too profound for me( I am just being modest) LOL.
Ok i dun want to crack my head today and decipher the bio book

Today, my brain shall deserve a metabolic retardation...
well, I am experiencing some pain in my brain....just pray it is not some tumor or what.
Now I feel like writing nonsense... hey check thsi out

Can You raed tihs ?

if you are Sarmt enguoh lkie me, you can atuclaly dceehpir tish, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

It friday again,


Time move so fast again.....worklod is getting heavier.


Well, finally, i got my navy blue shirts. Now need to find my silver tie.
hmm, if you know where to get it. Please tag me.

Haiz, I was just about to blog about what I did today.
But Then I read Ty Blog, it say " Like why do we need to know about your boring life. Occassional entrie about what you do is fine.But not to the extent it's always about what you did in the morning and after noon! For god sake, might as well blog what you do at night too. If you know what I mean." (Tian yu, 2006)

Shits! Now I don't know what to blog about. What am I going to do now? Talk about My sex life? LOL. ...............



15 minutes have pass now but I am still cracking my head on what to write about.

TY, I wanna kill you! LOL...just joking lah! Don't take me seriously. ( have you ever take me seriously? LOL, I don't know.)

5 minutes past


I give UP! i am sooo going to sleep!

I don't want to grow up but I don't want to be Michael jackson!


I just return home! I had a good day today. Everything was impromptu! LOL!
I just love surprises. GooD surprises! not the bad ones.


I was suppose to meet up with only with Sarala so that I can buy the ticket for the fusion night thingy. I guess it must be good.....or else i won't be attracted to even buy the ticket.
So when my lesson end, Liyana( Nana) call me up asking whether we can go back together. I was not so sure to follow her back home but heck, I just follow my impulse. Then nana and I was suppose to take the train back to Yishun but then we choose to take the bus instead, since nana was in a quest to save money. So while waiting for the bus, we talk about abit of this and then the bus came. Well, The bus 853 was infront of the bus 851, so again we with a quick decision nana and I enter the bus 853. Gosh, what am I talking.... I am writing as if this is some kind of composition in secondary school.

Anyway, guess who I met In the Bus?? It is Audi!!! LOL, gosh, I never expect him to be there...You can say it was the last thing on my mind. Haha. Well, Audi talk so softly in the bus that it can literally make me deaf, just like nana. Then meet Up with sarala and we had dinner at macdonald. LOL.. Sze aik came a while later. Hahaha......
It was like a mini reunion but It was never plan at all! It was all pure coincidence. then saw sarath and later irwin.
Dinner was great too, I laugh alot like no one business...............it was fun! never been so much happier! We talk about so much funny stuff! I am glad this happen

when nana, lala and I was about to go off today, we saw ming hai. haha......
well, I never expect to meet alot of former classmates today, ( i prefer not to call them former classmates, I like it better to call them my classmates)

Haiz! the good old days are fun....

You people might wonder why I always talk about the past...
The past is fun coz I not ready for the future...
I just dont want to move forward without knowing what will happen to me..
I dont want to waste the time in future being aimless.......

The monday blue................alone


terrible start for the week, but It was nice in the end....
Have to work harder this week. since clinical assessment is next week..
group mates have not yet send in their email, so I could not do the summary for my group project......hmm, nvm...at least I got time to study today..

well, on the way to the usual place i study, there so many nvss students..... all look at me like one kind like that. Whispering among themself and asking one another if they recognise me.
What lah! , yes yes, this is the sissy who is a senior from sjab. Stop looking at me like I did something wrong! I have a life tooo. !! so please kindly rolled your eyes to your own business

moving on....
Sometimes I wonder why I do stuff to make me,myself and I depressed myself.
What do I mean? hmmmmmmm. Who like love song? ok, Who loves Love song??
ME, me me me! I like love song! Coz it is really sweet and nice!

As you can hear Enya singing Amarantine.....that is an extend to how I like love song..Love song make you imagine how beautiful is it just to fall someone, and invest emotionally into someone and unite spiritually. Haha, don't get me wrong.....I am not naive but I think many have high hope that lovely thing can happen to them(including me).
Hmm, I fell in love with this song by Teddy Geiger call ' For You I will "




Why I like the song so much? For one thing, by reading between the line of the lyric. I already fine it soothing. The second reason is that I think the singer is cute. LOL. Hey they is nothing wrong in thinking that a person in same is good looking. haha, Love song I never grew sick of it.

TEDDY GEIGER LYRICS

For You I Will (Confidence)


Wondering the streets, in a world underneath it all
Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet
As what I can't have
Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair
round your finger
Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you
What I feel about you.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
and cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will

Forgive me if I stutter
From all of the clutter in my head
Cuz I could fall asleep in those eyes
Like a water bed
Do I seem familiar, i've crossed you in hallways
a thousand times, no more camouflage
I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you

If I could dim the lights in the mall
And create a mood I would
Shout out your name so it echos in every room
I would

That's what I'd do, That's what I'd do to get through to you

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will


But at same time, (for a person who is single like me) I feel so pathetic!! (for many obvious reason. Love song is somehow a double edge sword.....It make you feel so lonely. And stimulate you to become desperate! LOL. ok that was too much.... so if that happen to me..what would I do? I would listen to alot of breakup song!
hahaha, it is a good therapy! after you feel so high listen to love song, a break up song is there to make you sober. LOL

Yawn, hmm, I feel like blogging...but i don't really know what to write about..

I am more incline to write a depressive entry.....but I shall not.....
some people will be so irritated after reading it.


Well, my aunt and uncle came over earlier needing some tip and help for their daughter wedding. so they talk and talk and for me , I was enjoying listening to the stories about past family feud and all the words war they had.

Whoo, that can last for hours....tears was shed also. erm, may be i should just up. I am washing dirty linen in cyberspace....

It ended!

The week ended, just like that!

so what have I achieved this week? hmm, Nothing I guess.
I have not progress at all.......the week ended smoothly. I saw Mrs Teng today and had alittle chat with her. She is the best!! more than just a teacher, she is like a friend...

Next week is week five already! it is so fast that a month have ended. Time is moving too fast.
Now I wish God can make 36 hours a day rather than 24 hours. Erm? am I hearing a strong protest? LOL. As much as I love the vesak day holiday, I also do want lesson on that day itself. Time is too precious to waste on a holiday. LOL....yeah right.


Anyway, let me be superficial......gosh, I am the most ugliest thing in the world! Yes, it is true! I can see your head nodding. Since it is the truth, I cant protest it. I walk toward the Mrt I saw a good looking person. I was waiting at Yishun Mrt station and I saw a good looking person. When I reach school, that is the worse, almost everybody is good looking. and I am one of the few ugly/horrible/terrible/disgusting creature. People can literally be turn off by me. Thank god I still have some personality that can salvage me from being a social pariah.

Anyway, I am not saying this because I want to be console by people. I don't need that and I just want to vent out how I feel. I just want that.....and only that. I do think myself as an ugly obnoxious tub of lard. Well, I think I may be having a classic sign of inferiority complex. Never mind, all my mental conflict can be solved on my own. I am capable of doing that alone.
Give couple of days and I be Ok like I always do.

Why am I even saying this? Nobody actually care right. In this world, you are all alone. It is a fact.....

k den....i had enough of typing my 2 cent worth.......

A Stroke of IDIOCY


It is wednesday! Tomorrow is the last day of school for the week, since friday is Vesak Day.

Well, the weather have been very hot lately. I cannot endure such extreme weather. I will sweat like a pig. Then the next few hours I will be in such an uncomfortable state.
When I say sweat, I can totally drench my shirt by just walking. The route from YCK mrt to School of Health Sciences is about 10 minute walk. But!! it is enough to make me look wet, and make me feel as if I just had Physical Education[(PE) LOL, I have not had PE for two years already!]. Plus today the patch of wetness on my shirt look so visible and Ultimately it was so obvious!


Then while having clinical lab lesson, Aisyah took a syringe filled with water and spray it at me! I look far more worse now. Well, I hope some pharmacist can create a anti-pespiring medication. That would really help! with less sweat there would be less pimple for people like me!! hehex.

Moving on,
Sometimes our stupidity is so overwhelming that It surprise others and more importantly yourself. So in Hasrul Random terminology, I call this phenomenon " A stroke of idiocy ". Everybody will experience this including me. The term use is not to stigmatized stupid people as the term is use for normal functioning human who make a really dumb mistake which no man in the right/sane/logical mind would do or would not do. It does not mean the person is stupid but at that moment, he/she just had a stroke of it.

For example,

I was a GV yishun wanting to buy a bubble tea today.
I was standing looking at the menu and then saw the ice blend chocolate.
soon after I went to order.

Me; Aunty can I have an Ice blended Milk tea? ( does that beverage even exist?)

Aunty; HUH? (dumbfounded)

(after 5 second....)

Aunty: again what you want?

Me: Ice blended Milk tea?

Aunty: We don't have that. Can you please read the menu again and order ?

ME: (I look Up and instantenously realise what the rubbish I was talking)
ERm, sorry sorry. (with that idiotic look) I actually want Ice blended chocolcate.(paiseh...)

Aunty: Oh....ok ok. Hold On!


I was now laughing but at the same time shock by the depth of my idiocy.
But again, I am not an idiot. Lets just say I had a stroke of it! haha


NOw enjoy this sweet song!

Enya: Amarantine

You know when you give your love away
It opens your heart,
everything is new.
And you know time will always find a way
to let your heart believe it's true.


You know love is everything you say;
a whisper, a word, promises you give.
You feel it in the heartbeat of the day.
You know this is the way love is.

Chorus
Amarantine...
Amarantine...
Amarantine...
Love is love is love

You know love may sometimes make you cry,
so let the tears go,
they will flow away,
for you know love will always let you fly-
how far a heart can fly away!

Chorus

You know when love's shining in your eyes
it may be the stars fallen from above.
And you know love is with you when you rise,
for night and day belong to love.

tatas,

It been more than a week since my last entry!

and this is my first post for the month of May 2006,


Well, I was not lazing around lah. There was so many things going on, so I momentarily forsaken this blog. but Now I am back....


so how have I been doing? Well, great!

gosh, I simply do not know what to blog about. Ok, my life is abit stagnant but not as dull as before. Hanging out with Aisyah, Idah, Farah, Ira and not forgetting Shira have my school life more interesting. They SPICE thing up babY! Love to have you people by my side...

well well, the rest of my friends, don't be sad, I still remember You. You people have make an impact in my life in alot more different ways.

So, let start whinning!! hmm, Ok I currently can't upload picture due to the fact that My mum threw away the bluetooth dongle that i have always rely on. Yes, I always took picture using my phone...and now the only medium for the connection between my phone and my computer is gone, I have no choice but to find another alternative method to do so. Using the memory card reader, but honestly with a bluetooth dongle, it make movement of data a hell lot easier. Since I am lazy, i wont be uploading pictures for quite sometime.

It Week 4 according to my school timetable, my brain engine have more or less started. Still gear 1 and some progress. But still there is progress. I have not view the website for my computer based training and course management service (CMS). Shuck! I find it such a hassle to go through CMS and view your online lecture notes(a.k.a e-lecture) which firstly not going to be taught by the lecturer and you have to fathom whatever there is on your own. Plus if there is alot of people sign in to the CMS at that time, the website will start to lag. IRRITATING!

Oh shits, I have national education this week. Sian 1/2. I hate national education. It is such a boring as module. Waste of my freaking time. That women who is conducting lecture can talk a full 2 hours about Singapore and what she have done to be prosperous. Well, as much as I want to be patriotic, I hate all this bullcrap! I don't want to listen to this stupid propaganda.
Why cant the government let its people feel in love with the country natural rather than spending time and money on education people about singapore!

Well, then, I am too tired to blog even more.
so tatas!